


A Place Isn't Home

by When_the_Day_Met_Night21



Category: Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gert not being able to sleep without Chase basically lol, Mentions of past child abuse, slight mentions of Nico & Karolina but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-06-08 17:08:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 31,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15247929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/When_the_Day_Met_Night21/pseuds/When_the_Day_Met_Night21
Summary: Being on the run means living in fear & lots of sleepless nights so it's no surprise when Gert Yorkes can't get through the night. It turns out there's someone else who can't either, Chase. With all the unresolved tension between the two of them, there's plenty to talk about. So what better time when everyone else is asleep?





	1. Let's Go to Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually came up with this idea like 2 weeks ago or so & am finally able to start posting it. This is gonna maybe be a 3 part thing. Btw I saw someone recently posted a fic about Chase hearing Gert sing the lullaby & it made me realize I'm clearly not the only one who wants that to happen. lol
> 
> Also, thank you to my friend Lauren, backtothestart02 on here, for reading this before I posted this without having seen the show aside from a handful of clips I've shown her. She knows how nervous I am about my writing. lol She also came up with the title.

_"You kids aren't getting away this time..."_

_No!_

Gert's eyes shot wide open. She stared around at her dark surroundings as she struggled to catch her breath. She quickly remembered that they were still very much on the run, living in their stolen van that they managed to find again when they bolted out of the bus station earlier that day. This knowledge, following the nightmare she just woke up from, did nothing to calm her nerves. If anything, it heightened it.

Yes, the nightmare wasn't real, and yet it still was. Their parents were still “evil”, the six of them had almost died & now were forced to live like the actual ' _Runways_ ' that Alex had sarcastically dubbed them the other day. Life officially sucked.

Her anxiety attack wasn't settling down so Gert pushed up from her spot, put the coat she was using as a blanket on, & opened the van door to get out, hoping the fresh air would do her some good. She tried to slow her breathing and counted in her head. By the time, she got to 10, it had grown steady again. She told herself, "Remember, you are in control." Gert knew she’d have to start telling herself this more now that she was without her medication, which was still sitting at a house that she could no longer call her home.

She opened her eyes as she heard a bellowing sound. Old Lace had clearly woken up, making her way over to her troubled companion. The dinosaur stared at her intently as if to see if she was all right. Gert nodded and reached out to pet the creature. "I'm okay, girl. Good girl, Lace." Her special friend to the rescue again! Thank goodness they had been reunited. She needed her.

She wasn't sure why she started humming the song, the one she had sung countless times over the years to comfort Molly as much as herself when she couldn't sleep. Tonight was fitting, because she wasn't too sure she was ready to shut her eyes again. Not if that nightmare was waiting for her.  _"Let's go to sleep_..." Gert began. " _There is a dream we can share... just you and me..._ " She looked up to the stars in wonder, rocking herself in place. What were they going to do now? As she hummed away, she failed to notice that there was someone else outside with her.

* * *

 

Chase, who had been sitting on a rock nearby, had turned his complete attention towards her. For an hour, he had been sitting in silence, feeling uneasy & unable to rest. Now Gert was awake & singing the most hauntingly beautiful lullaby he'd ever heard. He sighed, as he stared over at her longingly. Part of him wanted to make his presence known but he also didn't want to ruin this perfect peaceful moment. Besides, he didn't want her to think he was being a creep. Though to be fair, he had come out here first.

Unfortunately, he didn't get to stay unhidden because it seemed like Old Lace had caught his scent. The dinosaur pulled away from Gert and headed towards his direction. "Girl, no." Thankfully, the creature had warmed up to him a bit more since the scene in his room the other night so she simply wanted his attention. This also meant a certain purple-dyed girl was going to notice him in _3, 2..._

"Chase! Have you been there this whole time?" she cried out with a slight jump.

He looked away, embarrassed of being caught, even though he didn't need to be. Maybe he should have let her known he was out here too but again, Chase didn't want to freak her out. Though he guessed that was happening now regardless. Oh well.

"Yes." He glanced back to see her reaction.

She was biting her lip, just barely meeting his eyes. He could tell she was probably blushing about him overhearing her singing. Which, honestly, was ridiculous because her voice was heavenly to listen to. If he hadn't been so transfixed by it, it probably would have put him to sleep on that very rock. What a feat that would have been too. Sleeping was harder tonight even if he got to lay next to this special girl in front of him. There were so many things on his mind and he found he couldn't take feeling suffocated in that van anymore.

"I... I hadn't even noticed you weren't still in the van when I came out here."

_Ouch._

"Wow, good to know my presence is that forgettable." His tone came out lighthearted like he intended it to but he even heard the unexpected tinge of hurt that came with it.

Things had been okay enough between them today but he did still feel like he was walking around on eggshells with Gert. One minute she would glance his way and he would think, _This is it. She's gonna take back what she said the night of the dance. It meant something to her too._ Then she'd divert her eyes away and turn to Molly or Old Lace. Or like the night before when they had fallen asleep holding hands and woken up this morning the same way but she simply got up and offered to help gather stuff before leaving for the station. Or the smile she had given him when he let her use his trench-coat as a blanket again tonight. Apparently, that was becoming their thing now.

He couldn't figure out where he stood with her. Not since that night. Things were different now. It just didn't seem clear to him how much.

* * *

 

Gert could sense the uneasiness between the two of them. "I didn't mean it that way, Chase. I just..." She sighed, willing herself to not to talk like a bumbling idiot. "I woke up from this nightmare and one of my attacks started again-"

"Really?" His eyebrows shot up in worry. "Are you okay?"

"Sure." Her heart soared a little at his quick concern. "I'm so used to them now. I mean, I  _definitely_  miss my meds for sure but it does help having your own emotional support dinosaur at your disposal." She laughed. "Saves trips to the pharmacy."

He chuckled. "Yeah, I'm sure." She watched as he shyly moved over on the rock, signaling with his hand that she was free to sit with him if she chose to. She stared at the spot for a second, then back at him, unsure. She debated in her head if this was a good idea or not.

They hadn't really been talking a lot lately, just some small exchanges. Nothing of consequence at least. Like when he asked if she minded if he slept next to her that first night in the van.

Gert had given a simple nod as she curled up into her spot more comfortably. She watched as he pulled off his newly purchased/used tan trench-coat and tried to steady her breathing. He was still wearing his t-shirt but goodness those biceps of his were distracting. She couldn't stop staring. She then shivered, realizing that they had been short a blanket and that Chase had the last one in his hand. _How am I only just now realizing this? Girl, now you're gonna freeze tonight._

Luckily for her, the boy quickly became aware of her situation. He took a look at his coat & then back at her, then held it out. "Aren't you cold?"

"A little," she admitted. She was only sleeping in a t-shirt and sweats.

"Here." He reached out to place it on top of her like a blanket.

"Are you... sure?" she asked, uncertain. Not that she wasn't grateful, but she also didn't want him to think that this meant anything to her. Him letting her borrow his coat for the night, that is. It was simply a nice gesture to a friend that she told herself that he would have done for any of the others, not just specifically her.

"Of course, Gert. You deserve to be warm just like everyone else." He laid down, pulling his cover over himself. "Besides, this blanket isn't that big. You'll probably be warmer than I am with that long coat anyway."

She found herself smiling at him. Just a small one, not wanting to appear too eager but just enough to let him know that she appreciated it all the same.

"Thanks, Chase."

"You're welcome," he replied, warmly. Her eyes lingered at his dimples a little longer than she meant to so when she caught those hazel eyes of his she found confusion in them. Slight amusement as well. As if to say,  _What now?_

She adjusted in her spot to get more comfortable, careful not to hit into the already sleeping girl besides her. Molly certainly deserved all the sleep she needed with all the super strength she'd been using these past few days. Gert refused to wake her up.

"You can get closer to me if you have to."

"What?" she choked out, dumbstruck.

"I can tell you're worried about her having room, though it looks like she's got plenty considering the space. It's definitely a tighter fit for me over here with these two." He gestured toward the spooning pair that was Karolina & Nico.

"I... I mean, do you mind if I...?"

"No, really. It's fine, Gert."

She scooted closer to him, hesitantly. She didn't want to get too close. Nothing to make him get the wrong idea about her intentions here right now. And yet, she enjoyed this. Getting to be near him like this even if it was because they were in a van with 3 other teenagers and it was a tight fit. It was the perfect excuse.

"I can't believe we're really doing this." She had meant being on the run, not sleeping next each other, but it still applied. Chase seemed to understand what she meant though.

"I know," He said. He grabbed for her hand. "But we're gonna figure something out. Make a new start somewhere else."

"I know but..." She didn't want to admit it, but she was afraid.

"I'm scared too." His eyes showed that this wasn't a lie. "But we're gonna do this, together. All six of us. Somehow." He stroked his thumb along her knuckles. "Okay?"

She nodded as she found herself feeling sleepy. She needed rest. The last two days had been more than her 17-year-old self could handle. But right now, she was feeling calm and wanted to rid herself of her nerves. Time for sleep.

Chase never let go of her hand that night.

Beyond the occasional remarks & unspoken glances that followed, that was the last real conversation Gert could say that she & Chase had been able to have since the moment she told him their hookup meant nothing. She missed talking to him. Their banter. To be fair, there had been so much craziness going on that it hadn't been her top priority lately. But now she had Old Lace back & while they were still on the run, for now they hadn't been found. All there was to do tonight was sleep, which she refused to let herself do. So, to ignore him now, there would be no excuse.

So she sat down next to him, while trying to keep some space between themselves. Firstly, so he wouldn't think anything of it. Secondly, she was having a hard time thinking by being this close to him. "So, why are  _you_  out here?"

"Same as you. I couldn't sleep."

"Really? Why not? You have to be tired from all the running like the rest of us."

"I don't know. Something about our own parents framing us for a murder that they committed... saying we kidnapped Molly... and now we're on America's Most Wanted list... Yeah, kind of hard to wrap your head around that."

"Yeah," she said sorrowfully. She still couldn't believe this was their life either. Living in a van, the six of them? Running around gas station to gas station to get their van fuel & themselves cheap junk food? Always living in fear? Is this really how it was gonna be from now on?

Chase cleared his throat. "Um, that was a pretty song you were singing before."

"Oh," Gert looked down, ready to blush again. So, he was going to bring it up after all.  _Great._  "Yeah, you heard that, did you?"

"Mmhmm, you have a nice voice, you know that?"

"Thanks... My mom," she paused like the word was foreign to her. It  _did_  feel foreign. "Stacey used to play it for us when we were younger. It, uh, would always put me & Molly to sleep."

"Nice. You're gonna have to use that trick on me next time I can't sleep."

"Only if you're trying to get your ears to bleed."

"Gert, I wasn't kidding when I said I liked your singing voice. Honest."

"Oh."

Once again there was a silence between them but this one wasn't uncomfortable. It was nice. She wasn't looking for compliments from him but it didn't mean she couldn't enjoy this one from Chase. If nothing else, at least he liked her voice. That was something.

The two of them looked up at the stars wordlessly. Gert was reminded of 8th grade and those nights that her & Chase would sneak off to his roof to look at them for class. She remembered him bragging that he could sneak them up there without his dad noticing. She also remembered being impressed as she watched him pick the lock. He gave her a thumbs up after he did and she reached out to give him a high five in response. They would sit up there, like they were now, in near silence. And yet, Gert always savored those nights. Because those were the nights when he was just hers. Not the group's, not snobbish Eiffel who was starting to show an interest in him since he was the cute star lacrosse player. Just hers.

Except he was always looking down at his phone when she glanced his way, Gert noticed. She didn't need to know who the reason was. Eiffel, she surmised. She could tell by how frequently he would have to answer his phone.  _Someone's eager._

Now that she thought about it, it shouldn't have been a surprise when Chase did choose to blow them off in sophomore year. She wondered sometimes whether it would have mattered if Amy had died or not. Would Chase still have chosen to close off from them eventually? He would have had to choose between them or his lacrosse friends someday. Amy dying probably just jump-started it.

But then, as she sat there on the rock with present-day Chase, two years later, she wondered if that were true.

"What is it?"

Gert realized she had been staring again as these thoughts of Chase & the past had formed. Clearly for a lot longer than what was considered acceptable for a girl who was supposed to not be interested in said boy. Which in her denial, she would tell anyone who asked her that she wasn't. But Gert herself knew the truth. She had almost spilled the whole truth to Nico when the goth questioned her about the events of Homecoming Night yesterday. She didn't dare to believe that Chase had told Nico that he really liked her. She had to have been mistaken. Or planting hope where there was none. But here was this boy, looking at her questioningly, with eyes so earnest that made her want to tell him the truth. That of course that night meant something, that it meant everything. That she was just scared and wanted to give being with him a chance. And yet something stopped her.

"Nothing. I just can't stop thinking of how we all got here."

"Yeah."

"I don't know how well this whole living in a van thing is going to work for us long-term."

She could tell by Chase's clenched jaw that he was having clear doubts about this set-up as much as much she was. "I know." He didn't offer any solutions and she wasn't asking him for one but she still had been hoping for well, hope. Naturally, their self-proclaimed leader Alex had to be forming a plan, right? He was always coming up with something. They couldn't always park in some woods at night after a day of driving. Eventually they would get caught. But today, planning had gone out the window & they were forced to wing it. After the news put their names & pictures out for all of the country to see, going to hotels/motels were ruled out because there was a chance that the desk person would snitch them out. And honestly? Their undercover getups were a complete fail, even Gert's bright green wig to hide her purple, since it was so obviously fake. No way would they go unnoticed if they went anywhere for a lengthy enough time. To the world, they were fugitives.

Not to mention, what would they do with Old Lace in this scenario now that she was back in the equation? Stay in the van? Run loose & possibly be caught? There were so many things to consider with the dinosaur being with them again. She really started to understand why the others had asked her to leave her behind now.

So, this is what they had come to once more tonight when they realized they needed rest. Another night in the van in a secluded area, merely assuming that no one would be looking there. Risky but it was all they had.

"I'm sure Wilder will figure something out," is all Chase could offer her at that moment. It really wasn't much but Gert decided it was enough to push the subject aside for now. They would have to see what Alex had in store for them in the morning.

She stared up at the sky again as she felt a slight nudge at her arm. Old Lace had appeared at her side once again, begging for attention. Gert chuckled as she brought her hand to stroke the dinosaur's head and glanced to see how Chase was reacting. He looked just as amused as she was, giving a toothy grin. "You two really are inseparable now, aren't you?"

"I guess you could say that." She shook her head. "I don't even understand how it works but we're connected. And I love it!" She pulled Old Lace into a hug with a grin as she said it. Gert loved having something that she could call her own and something that made her special. Having a pet dinosaur that understood you, how much more special could you get?

"Remember middle school?" Gert looked at him, not sure how to take that question. Since she had already had the stargazing on her mind from before. That couldn't be what Chase was talking about here though.

"What do you mean?"

"That field trip we took in 6th grade for science, remember? The museum?"

"Uh-huh." She vaguely remembered the memory, it being so long ago. "What about it?"

"Remember how excited you were to get to the dinosaur exhibit that you told us that you wanted to sneak away from the tour & go see it instead because you'd already been there? That it was your favorite one? So you convinced us to do it with you?"

"Oh my God, I did that?" She started laughing, imagining her mousy younger self deciding to do something defiant all in the name for the love of dinosaurs. "I can't believe I forgot about that."

"I never did. I remembered thinking that was the most rebellious thing I'd ever seen you do until then. It was amazing."

"Until we got caught." They both laughed at that one.

"True." His eyes grew a little softer. "But then I guess that shows why I should never be surprised when you do unpredictable things." His voice got quieter. "You're always a bit of a wild card sometimes."

"Am I?" She tried keeping her tone light. She wasn't sure where this conversation was heading. Based on Chase's facial expression, he didn't seem to either so he changed his train of thought.

"I guess you've always been drawn to dinosaurs. Maybe that's why your parents made her for you."

"That and well, if you were a scientist and you could genetically engineer something, I guess a dinosaur is as ambitious as you can get."

"True."

Another fit of giggles between them happened. It felt so good to laugh in what felt like the first time in forever. Gert decided that she would treasure this conservation with Chase in the stressful days, weeks, possibly years ahead of them for that simple fact. That at the start of this, there had been able to be a moment to just be themselves, even if in this case it was only because the two of them couldn't sleep that night. Unexpectedly, Gert felt a yawn come out. She was suddenly tired.

It was a bittersweet moment because she was truly starting to enjoy the conversation they had begun. She wanted to keep talking. She also didn't want to deal with the possibility of another nightmare. That all said, she still really needed the sleep. Who knew what they were going to face in the morning?

Chase seemed to come to the same conclusion as he stood up from his spot. "You definitely need sleep." He reached out his hand to help her up and instead of dropping it, he kept hers enveloped in his. "I guess I'll try to get some too. Come on." After Gert gave Old Lace one more pat on the head and told her to lay down for now, Chase led her back to the van. "After you."

Settling back into her spot, Gert suddenly was glad to be lying down again. Her body was completely exhausted. All this running around was already starting to take its toll on her mental state as well the physical one so she was ready for sleep again. She turned to see Chase taking his spot next her and silently watched him tuck back under his cover. He caught her gaze and smiled. "Goodnight, Gert," he mouthed. He held his hand out as if he was offering her to take it if she wanted. She reached for it and held onto it.

It didn't have to mean anything. It did actually, but she wouldn't have to tell him that.

"Goodnight, Chase."

Tomorrow would probably go all to hell. But tonight, it had been perfect. At least they had that.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, that was the first chapter. I haven't written fic in like 5 years so go easy on me. lol It's also my first fic for this fandom/on here so I'm curious what people will think. I just really wonder how the show is going to handle them in season 2 & I guess this is me imagining how it could start for these two. Let me know what you thought!


	2. Welcome to The Hostel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, they're on the run with only a van to sleep in, which sucks. That is, until someone comes up with a solution to their problem. That person being Chase.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back guys! :) I'll admit this chapter went down differently than how I originally planned it to go. I wrote like 3 different versions before settling on this. But it felt like if I wanted to set up where they were staying properly, I had to do it. Which meant including more of the group (they weren't supposed to be in here as much as they ended up being lol) and that was fun but a little scary cuz yikes, trying to make characterizations for more than two people sound right. A nightmare. XD Hopefully you all enjoy this after the little wait. And it is a little lengthy. lol
> 
> Again, shoutout to my bb Lauren (backtothestart02) for betaing this little monster even though she doesn't know much about this show besides what I've forced on her. You rock, hun! <3

That next morning Chase surprisingly found he was not the first to wake up.

That honor went to Alex, who had not-so-subtly snuck out of the van, probably trudging away to plot their next move on his own. Which honestly who knew what it would be since the situation they had currently found themselves in seemed hopeless. By the small amount of light that had come in, Chase assessed that it was at least the crack of dawn, which meant they would most likely be moving soon as possible to get on the road before there were many people on it. But then, where would they be driving to? Without a clear destination in mind, what was the point of leaving this spot? Sure, staying in one place was risky but wasn’t moving around in a stolen Gibborim van without an endgame worse?

As this train of thought passed through his mind, Chase became aware of the purple hair out of the corner of his eye. Or rather the girl who was resting her chin against his shoulder, with her hand still tangled up in his. He smiled to himself. _Now this is something I could get used to._

She looked so peaceful, no sign of distress in her sleep. In fact, she looked as though she were having a rather nice dream actually. While he did want her to wake up eventually since the chance of her talking to him again instead of ignoring him seemed like a strong possibility today, he also enjoyed seeing Gert like this. There would be plenty of sleepless nights ahead, he was sure of that, so they had to get all the rest that they could when the opportunity presented itself.

Naturally though, after the light that had briefly been allowed in, someone had to be the next to wake up. That person being the youngest member of their group. “What time is it?” asked a groggy Molly.

“It looks like it’s still pretty early,” Chase whispered. “The sun’s only just come up.”

With a roll & a groan, Molly buried her head into her pillow. “Ugh. I’m not ready to get up yet.”

Not having a reply to that, Chase kept quiet. Honestly, he was just ready to see what their next move was. He was genuinely curious what Alex was going to decide they do. In fact, he was starting to wonder if the spectacled boy even had a plan. Not that Chase could totally blame him if he didn’t. How could anyone prepare for their parents to pull something like this on their own kids? Framing them for murder? How sick could one be to do that? Apparently just enough to actually go through with it.

There was movement to his side that made him abandon these thoughts. Gert was waking up. There was a soft sort of whimper that came out before her eyes shot open. She looked up at Chase, as though she were analyzing the situation and slowly pulled away so that she was resting back on her own pillow, her hand going back to her side. He noticed she never looked away as she did this, though a blush crept up on her face. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. Hope I didn’t drool on you or anything.” She cringed playfully.

“I think you’re good, Gert. It’s fine.” He chuckled with a smile that he hoped conveyed that it really was fine, whether she had or not. It was more than fine actually. Waking up to her curled up against him had been a pleasant surprise. The van might not have been an ideal sleeping place but if it meant that this was going be an everyday thing, then he was by all means okay with it.

“Would you hand me my glasses?” she asked, rubbing her eyes. There was something adorable about a half-waken Gert that made him want to giggle. He resisted the urge in case a sleepy Gert in the morning equaled a grouchy one. Best not to annoy her when she was speaking to him so willingly.

 “Sure.” He quickly grabbed for them. “Here you go.”

Putting them on, Gert sighed. “I guess I’m officially awake now.” She sat up in her spot. “Do we know what the plan is yet?”

“Nope. Wilder just went outside though, so we’ll see in a few I guess?”

“Great.”

On the other side of Chase, there was more movement happening now. A disheveled but still effortlessly beautiful Karolina slowly awoke from her slumber with a frown. “What’s going on?” she asked, yawning as she sat up.

“Waiting to see what the plan is.”

“Oh.” She turned to the sleeping girl beside her to whisper in her ear. “Nico, everyone’s awake now. You should probably get up too.” She gave her a little tap on the shoulder.

Nico’s eyes opened quickly, and she sat up with a jump. At first, she looked freaked out but then sheepishly smiled. Almost as if she had been caught red-handed. Even though by this point, everyone knew that the nature of her relationship with Karolina had changed completely. Even Alex, who Chase had assumed she would be wary of knowing. And yet, that was not the case so far. Except right now. When she had been caught spooning the blonde by everyone else who was awake. Well, almost everyone.

“Molly, get up!”

“No! I’m still tired!”

“How can you still be tired? You were the first one asleep!” Gert argued. That was a fair point. “And don’t say using your powers because you didn’t have to use them yesterday!” Another fair point. Chase was amused by this quasi-sibling argument he was witnessing. He wondered if this was a daily occurrence between the two girls growing up as sisters, arguing over trivial things in the morning.

“I don’t know, maybe because it’s still before any human should really have to get up and we’re running around-“

Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on who you asked, this entertainment was cut short by the sliding of the van door. Everyone froze and looked as though they were ready to defend to themselves, but of course it was just Alex, who appeared tense as he stood before them. “We have to regroup, you guys. I’ve been racking my brain about what we should do and well, we’re fugitives now, right? We need a hideout that’s totally off the grid.”

“But where though?” Nico asked anxiously. “Our parents basically made it so everyone in this city is going to know who we are, so we can’t really stay with anyone and we can’t fly anywhere so...”

“That’s why there’s only one thing left to do. We need something isolated, something underground.”

“Like the cave mansion,” Chase found himself saying out loud without thinking about it.

“What?”

He cleared his throat, shaking his head. “Uh, just something I read about in a book once. It was in my dad's lab.”

Alex looked at him, sternly. “And you're only just sharing this now? Why didn't you say anything about this yesterday?” The others looked at Chase too, as if to say the same thing.

“I didn't think of it until now!” Chase cried, defensively. He looked away from their pleading eyes, feeling a little ganged up on. He almost regretted saying anything about it. “I mean, it might not even still be there.”

“Why not?”

Chase sighed, knowing how it was going to sound before he got the words out. “Guys, it's a mansion that literally got swallowed up by an earthquake.”

“WHAT?” everyone shouted.

He looked at each one of their shocked faces. Yeah, this was going to take some major explaining on his part.

* * *

 

With another sigh, Chase continued talking about this totally fictional sounding place. There was no way it existed. Time travel being real was starting to sound more plausible now. “Yeah. It was some multi-millionaire’s place from the 1920 _’s_. Apparently, there was an earthquake that happened a long time ago, and it like, fell into Bronson Canyon or something.”

_Okay, what?_

“How...” Gert found herself, speaking up. “I mean, it’s really still there?”

“Supposedly,” he said with a nod. “They figured it was useless to do anything about it since the fall was so deep. So, they left it the way it was, but some people think that most parts of the mansion managed to actually stay together. I've always been curious about it.”

“So... you've never actually checked it out yourself?” Karolina asked, voicing the doubt Gert could feel coming from the others as well as herself. This did not sound like a real place. It couldn’t be. Even if it did sound like a perfect solution to their problem.

“I've thought about it.” There was a hitch in his voice that Gert thought she recognized, as if there was more he wanted to say but held back. But maybe she imagined that part. “Whenever I needed to get away at nights, I'd get as far as the entrance of the caves.”

“So, it might not be real?” Alex asked skeptically.

“My dad had a book on it!” Chase shouted, back to being on the defense.  “I'm _sure_ it's real. It happened forever ago! I just didn't feel like getting lost in some caves, that's all.” He shrugged as if that were reason enough, which was fair. “They're supposed to be pretty big.”

“It might be worth a look,” Nico admitted, looking over at Alex.

“I'm definitely for it,” Molly voiced, squeezing her arms around her pillow. “I can't sleep another night with you guys in this van, no offense.”

“None taken,” Chase said with a smirk. The younger girl laughed at that.

“I think we should too,” Karolina chimed in.

Gert didn’t want Chase to think she was totally against the idea, even if she was feeling pretty hesitant about checking out a mansion that was literally at the bottom of a canyon. Still, this didn’t sound like something she was excited to check out. At all. She raised her eyebrows. “So, is there a way to get to this ‘cave mansion’? Safely?”

“Yeah, there’s an actual entrance to the cave and everything.” He nodded, reassuringly. “Trust me, as long as we have Karolina, we should be able to find it all right.”

“Me?” Karolina inquired.

He grinned broadly. “For light.”

Gert groaned. “Great.” She was not up for the part where they would be travelling in the darkness of caves. Even if they did have their own flashlight in human form. Yet she didn’t feel like being the one to say she was against it, despite all the worst scenarios playing in her head. She figured she’d let Alex do it.

During all of this, Alex had been quiet in deep thought. “I guess it would be an option to consider.”

“Come on, Alex!” Molly cried. “Anything is better than sleeping in this van. It's too crowded.”

“All right,” the boy said with a nod. “It’s in Griffith Park, right? We'll go to there & check it out. It's still early enough that this should be a simple drive. Let's move it, people.”

Gert moved from her spot like the others to get ready to leave. She even volunteered to drive. That said, she was still feeling uncertain about this idea. What if Chase was wrong about the underground mansion? Well, they could always sleep in the actual cave. Considering it was safe enough. Not that the prospect of that was enticing to her at all. Still, she supposed it was worth investigating.

Gert got out of the van to see her scaly friend patiently waiting for her and fed the measly meal she had acquired for Old Lace the day before. She stroked the creature’s head. “Don’t worry, next run I’ll get you something better. Things were tough yesterday.” She pressed her forehead against Old Lace’s. “Now, you’re gonna follow us like you did all yesterday, okay? Stay on the side of the road and make sure, no matter what, no one else sees you. Just keep running. Got it, girl?” She knew, with the dinosaur‘s lightning fast speed, that should be no problem. The group, on the other hand…

She decided not to finish that thought. Time to get ready.

Once the gang was all set to leave, Gert made her way to the driver’s seat.  Chase then slid into the passenger side, telling her that he would give her directions to which Gert shook her head. “I know where Griffith Park is, Chase. They use it for filming all the time. Besides, GPS!”

“Yeah, but that’s the West portal. We’re going to the East one. No one ever uses that one.”

“Why’s that?”

“You’ll see.”

The drive to their destination didn’t take too long, but Gert still had enough time to wonder what would happen when they got there. She was a bundle of nerves. Occasionally, she would glance in Chase’s direction to remind herself that this boy wouldn’t send them somewhere unless he was sure about it. Sometimes he would look over at her, catching her doing this and would smile as though he could tell how anxious she was feeling and tried to be as comforting as he could be from his seat.

She silently thanked him for trying his best, but she was still feeling a little unsure.

Once there, Gert parked the van, and the group made their way to the cave entrance with Chase leading the way. “Here it is, you guys.”

All six of them stuck their heads into the entryway trying to peer through the darkness. Alex was the first to speak up. “So, this is the amazing hiding spot you were talking about?”

“You’re the one who said we needed somewhere underground, man. Got any better ideas?” To that, Alex clearly had no answer, so he stayed silent. “Okay, good.”

Gert couldn’t help the biting remark that was just itching to come out. “Is this just an excuse for you to act like you’re Batman, Chase?”

“I heard they filmed the old Batman series here actually,” Nico stated.

Chase shook his head. “Not this one.” He gave an impish smile. “You think I’m that dumb? No, this one they don’t use for filming things at all.”

With a gasp, Karolina pointed to somewhere off to the side. “No wonder! Look at that sign!” It said:

 ** _DANGER_** –

_DO NOT ENTER HAZARDOUS AREA_

_AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY_

Chuckling, Chase waved this off. “Oh, don’t worry. I heard they only put that up to keep away trespassers. Only now everyone forgets that it was put there for that reason, so people really think it’s dangerous on this side.”

_Okay, that smelled a little like bullshit._

Gert looked up at him quizzically. “You sure know a lot about this place for someone who’s really only read about it.”

“I told you I’d come up here when I was younger.” He looked down at his feet as though he had been caught in a lie. “I, uh, may have went inside a little. Not too far, just to see if it was legit or not.” There it was again, that look that Gert had seen earlier where it felt like Chase was keeping something from them by fibbing. She was totally going to look into that later but first they had to make it through this cave.

Chase was sliding on his x-ray vision goggles as he made his first step into the entryway. “Everyone ready?”

_No._

Still, Gert nodded hesitantly, standing at the rear. Might as well get this over with. At least she had Old Lace to walk with by her side.

The group made their way into the portal and down the pathway one by one, slowly and cautiously, not sure what they would find. “This is kinda cool, Chase!” Molly exclaimed.

“Wait until we get to the mansion. I bet it’s amazing.”

The further they got from the sunlight, the darker their pathway became.  “Okay, I can’t see! WHERE ARE WE?” cried Gert.

“Uh, Karolina,” Chase said, “I think we could all use a little light right now.”

“Oh, right! Sorry!” A second later, there was Karolina glowing, making her way to the front of the line so that they could all see where they were headed.

“Okay, everyone. Let’s keep going!”

The group continued their journey following Chase, who was leading them confidently, as if he’d actually been this far before. This made Gert curious, because she felt certain that he had and wondered why he would choose to keep this information from the others. Before she could think further on this, they had come to a hole that seemed different from the ones before. “This is it, you guys.”

“Whoa.”

* * *

 

“Ladies & gentlemen, I name this to be The Hostel!” exclaimed Chase. He stretched his arm out as if to say, “ _Ta-da_!”, smiling excitedly. “What do you think?”

“The Hostel? Why that?” asked Molly.

“It sounds better and less literal than The Cave or The Canyon, doesn't it?”

“True.”

Alex looked around curiously with raised eyebrows. “Hostile… Well, that’s certainly the right word for it,” he said, sarcastically.

“It doesn’t seem very stable,” Nico pointed out.

“It just needs some repairing!” Chase felt questioning glances from all around him, but he refused to back down. “Okay, maybe a lot, but it's definitely something. We can fix it up!” He pouted, desperately wanting to convince them to consider the potential of it. “Come on, you guys. Admit it, it's better than the van.”

“I guess so...”

“I’m for it!” cried Molly.

_Thank you, Molly. I always knew you were a good kid._

So, with that, the decision was made.  They spent a fair amount of time exploring their surroundings and seeing what would need fixing. For a place that had fallen so far down a canyon, it had actually managed to stay somewhat livable. Only the grand foyer had been beyond salvaging, which didn’t matter since they weren’t planning to have any visitors to impress. It also appeared there were an endless number of bedrooms to the delight of the six teenagers.

Chase shamelessly claimed the Master Bedroom. “It was my idea, so I call dibs!” Luckily, the others didn’t put up a fight, but then, why would they need to? There had to be at least a dozen other rooms they could choose from, and it would be almost just as nice.

That said, Chase had staked his claim for the room for ulterior motives. The possibility of it revealing that he had been here before. Quite a few times actually. Up until a year or so ago, when he realized that alcohol was easier to come by than sneaking out at night alone as well as him becoming friends with people who wanted to party all the time, this had been Chase’s safe haven. Those nights when the hitting would follow intense arguments and he just needed to get away.

He recalled when he had found a book about mysterious events in history and came across the chapter about a missing mansion, right around their city. Naturally, Chase was fascinated by this, so one night after grabbing a flashlight, he went looking for it. Immediately, he became fond of it. Over time, he had managed to fix it up enough so that it was functional to stay there overnight.

Another possible telling sign to the others that someone, namely him, had stayed here not too long ago but thankfully, no one had brought this up. They just simply seemed grateful that they had somewhere to rest that wasn’t a 13 ft. van. Though Molly did joke that it would be easier fixing up the place if they had Nico’s staff. “Don’t remind me,” lamented Nico, clearly missing it too. It really was a shame that Tina Minuro had seized it back the night of Homecoming during the construction site stand-off. It would have come in handy right about now for the things the group couldn’t do, even Molly with her strength. One day they would have to get that thing back somehow.

Ah, well. This would have to do for now.

_Home sweet home?_

* * *

 

Gert had had her doubts about this place initially but now it really did seem like Chase had made the right call by suggesting it. It was amazing what a few hours of cleaning and repairing could do. That said, it wasn’t lost on her that someone had frequented here post-earthquake.  They had to have based on how it had maintained some sort of functionality after all this time, regardless of the bizarreness of the mansion staying somewhat in one piece. And she truly did believe Chase had been here before. He moved around the place so effortlessly, as if there was no reason not to be at ease. It had to be him.

She still couldn’t figure out what reason he had to keep this information from the group, let alone why he never had let them in the know in the past, if it had been possibly when they were still friends. Why the secrecy about such a remarkable place?

Not knowing when, Gert decided that eventually she was going to bring this question up to him when they were alone. She was too nosy not to.

At that moment, Alex pointed out that now that they had a secure hideout it might be an okay idea for a supply run. After all, they did need food. “We should probably stick to only pairs. Don’t want to draw attention to ourselves.”

To Gert’s surprise, Chase was the first one to volunteer to go. She began to see this as an opportunity. Unfortunately, Alex beat her to the punch and stated the obvious. “I guess that means Karolina should go too since she can light her way out of here.”

Karolina nodded as if she was fine with this development but spared a glance at Nico, which made it clear to Gert that she preferred that she didn’t have to leave the mansion. In return, Nico looked back as though she agreed with that thought. Which Gert totally understood; after everything with Karolina being taken and all they had to do get her back, it seemed risky for her to be one of the first to go out. Besides, the new pair probably had a lot of talking they still needed to do. Or not talking. Whichever they preferred. Gert was one-hundred percent supportive.

“You know what? Why doesn’t Gert just go?” Nico suggested, harmlessly.

“What?” Chase asked in shock.

_Is that a good thing or bad thing?_

“Well, you’ve got your goggles, right? So just lead her the way out. Karolina doesn’t have to go.”

Gert spoke up. “And well, you do need a girl on this trip because you definitely wouldn’t know all the possible things that _four_ teenage _girls_ would need.”

Chase made a face, genuinely puzzled for a second. Then after a beat, realization dawned on him with a laugh. “Right. That’s a good point.”

“Okay, so it’s settled then!” Alex said, stepping forward. “Let me grab the money and you guys can go.” He made his way to his room where he had already stashed it away. Chase went to his own to grab his goggles.

Gert stood there waiting patiently when she heard a cough to her side and turned to the sound. It was Nico, who was looking at her with a sly smile. “So, glad I got Karolina out of that?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Nico.”

“Whatever you say, Gert.” She shook her head with a snort. “You can deny it all you want but you like him.”

“What? No, I don’t!” Gert exclaimed, cagily. Her quick denials were so second nature at this point. She lowered her voice. “I mean, no. I don't.”

“Well, he likes you. And I don’t know why you still don’t believe me.” Nico flashed a sincere little smile. “I know you like him, Gert. We all know. The only one who doesn’t is him.”

“For the last time, I don’t-“

“You do. I don’t know why you’re lying to yourself, but you are. You have feelings for him.” The goth reached out to place her hand on Gert’s forearm briefly. “Just tell him. I promise, you won’t regret it.”

“Regret what?”

_Kill me now. Did he really just catch the end of that conversation?_

Gert turned towards him, trying her best to stay neutral. “Nothing. Get your goggles?”

Chase held them up with a smile. “Got ‘em. Ready to go?” He started to slide them on as Gert remembered this meant walking in pitch darkness with him. While some people would think that thought was exciting to a girl who had feelings for a certain boy, this actually terrified her. She was sure she would have an anxiety attack by the end of it, which she was not ready for.

Still, Gert nodded. She went to grab the keys for the van and took a deep breath. “Let’s do this.”

Alex came back into the foyer with cash in his hands. “Now, remember, go somewhere lowkey. And let’s just stick to some necessities for now. Some food, drinks and whatnot.” He handed half the cash to Chase. “And when you get there,” he handed the other half to Gert, “buy your stuff separately so people don’t put you guys together. Got it?” The pair nodded.

Grabbing her hand, Chase slowly led their way through the pathway, being as careful as he could be. Gert kept mentally telling herself that she was okay and that he would make sure to hold her hand until they made it to the outside. As if he had heard this thought out loud, he squeezed her hand. “I’ve got you, Gert. We should be almost there.”

She nodded to herself, continuing to take steady breaths. This royally sucked, but it was nice to have Chase there to soothe her. She remembered the attack in her parent’s basement seeing Old Lace for the first time and how he had held her after. He was pretty good at handling these kinds of situations.

“We better get some flashlights on this trip.”

“Definitely,” Gert agreed.

A minute later the two of them could finally see sunlight! They rushed towards the exit and Gert let out a sigh of relief. _Thank god. That was awful._

“We made it!” Chase said brightly, sliding his goggles off. He held his hand out for a high five.

Gert couldn’t help but smirk a little. Her hand met his.

_Third time’s the charm._

Once in the car, Gert let Chase have control of the radio for about a minute until she changed it. “You can’t be serious.”

“What? It’s a catchy song.”

She shook her head. “I question your taste sometimes.”

 “Hey!”

She laughed and then turned her eyes back to the road. “Play whatever you want, Chase.”

Chase didn’t have to be told twice. He turned the radio back to the cheesy pop song from before. “I know you secretly have to like this song.”

“Nope.”

They debated back and forth about this for a good little while with Chase pleading his case why the song didn’t suck, and Gert would just shake her head and proceed to say why it did. It was kind of nice to be honest. Such a fun, trivial conversation. She realized that she almost forgot why she had initially wanted to come on the trip, to bug him about his secret, but found she didn’t really want to right now. Not when they were having such a carefree moment.

Eventually, they found a store that seemed to fit Alex’s criteria and like he said, they went in at different times. Chase went first while Gert waited five minutes before going in after him. On the way over, it was decided who was getting what. Gert went straight for the feminine products to stock up for her and the other girls. She froze when she saw what was on the other side of the aisle.

Condoms.

To say she hadn’t been thinking of that night vividly from time to time since it happened would be a complete lie. She had. She had let it play over and over in her mind whenever she could. She had even woken up from a dream reliving it this morning.

Gert wanted to believe Nico’s words earlier wholeheartedly, but once again, her insecurities started playing with her mind. There was just no way that Chase could ever feel for her what she felt for him. That she was sure about. He was just her friend, that she also was sure about.

Yes, a friend that she had lost her virginity to two nights ago, but Gert told herself that that’s all there was to it. And honestly? Okay, say Chase did like her like that. Who was to say that he wanted it to be more than a sex thing? He hadn’t fought her when she had declared it was a one-time thing. Just a simple _“It was?”_ followed with what appeared to be a flash of hurt in his eyes when she had told him _“Of course”,_ but it was gone so quickly when he had looked down that it had been easy for her to blame it on the hormones and biology of it all. Damn her and her self-sabotaging defense mechanisms.

Of course, she had played out different scenarios of how that conversation could have gone if she hadn’t been so quick to deny that it meant something. But Gert never allowed herself to imagine one where they wound up getting together. _“Let’s just focus on the mission,”_ he had said when she finished rambling, and all her scenarios would end that very same way. If he really cared for her in that way, why had it been so easy for him to set that conversation aside?

Then again, even she knew it had been poor timing for her to bring up defining a relationship in the middle of a mission. Same goes for declaring her feelings at a dance they weren’t really attending. And by God, having sex with him while the others had been undoubtedly waiting for them in her car the whole time…

Yes, her timing sucked. But it had been almost too easy to chalk it up as something that had only happened because they both thought death was a strong possibility that night. That Chase had allowed himself to be swept up in the moment with her, a fleeting attraction towards her due to adrenaline and her closeness.  It had been passionate and amazing, but that didn’t mean it had been the same for him.

Gert couldn’t help thinking about how it had been _her_ who had gone to that dance on a mission. _She_ had pulled him to that room, _she_ put her arms around his neck and placed her head on his shoulder. And _she_ was the one who had brought the condom, tucked in her bra, in the off-chance she could pull off what she had imagined in her head ever since she had declared to Eiffel that the group would be going to the dance together.

Like Chase said last night, Gert knew that she could be a wild card sometimes. Over the last two years, she had started getting bolder as a person. First by chopping her longer hair and dying it purple. Secondly, she began to make her strong social justice views more vocal and naturally expanding her wit when she could.

But the most ballsy move she had ever made yet was that night.

She didn’t regret it, but Gert couldn’t figure out if she hadn’t made those conscious decisions, would anything like what happened that night ever really come to fruition with Chase on its own? Would he have ever looked at her that way, kissed her that way?

She really didn’t know.

Realizing that she had been standing in the same spot for far too long, Gert got everything she suspected that all the girls would need on the other side of the aisle. Then she turned back one more time.

She wasn’t sure why but something made her grab for the box. _This is stupid._

But still, she picked it up. One single box of condoms. She put it in her basket and quickly hurried out of the aisle before she could second guess what she just did.

Originally, Gert had planned to try to find something entertaining that Molly would enjoy since she was positive that having no Wi-fi or television was going to be the death of the girl. But the humiliation of what Gert had done made her hurry, so she forgot. _I’m a bad sister._

To say the ride back to the Hostel, which Chase continued to call it, was awkward would be an understatement. But Gert tried to play if off as her being tired. Not silently mortified that she had just bought some condoms in case the boy currently sitting in the passenger side ever wanted to have sex with her again.

This is not how she thought this day would go.

Thankfully, this time going through the pathway was actually not that bad with the flashlights Chase promised he would buy. He still securely held her hand as he led their way though.

The first person that Gert saw once they came in the entryway was Molly, who was starting to look a little bored now that they were done cleaning up and had nothing to do. She was sitting on a couch as she pet Old Lace, looking ready to pass out. Meanwhile, Alex was dozing off in a chair. Clearly the boy hadn’t been getting as much sleep as he let on. The stress was probably getting to him. Scanning the room, Gert noticed Nico & Karolina were nowhere in sight and had chosen to sneak off somewhere to talk or, more likely to Gert, make out.

Suddenly that made Gert wish she had someone to make out with. Or a certain person to do that with. Which according to Nico, that was possible, but she hadn’t been there when the two of them had decided the sex was a one-time thing.

Okay, Gert had decided, but again, he could have corrected her. Chase had had the chance to and he hadn’t. So, it was only natural for her to be wary. She needed to be sure that what had transpired that night really was for him beyond some short-lived lust before she would put her heart back out there for him again.

Before she could think further on this, Gert saw Molly jump up in excitement. “Food! Oh, thank God!” Her shouting woke Alex right up.

Chase smiled at her. “And I promise it’s an improvement over a bag of Dorito’s.”

“Thank you!” the younger girl cried, gleefully.

He then turned to Gert. “By the way I didn’t tell you…”He opened one of his bags. “It’s not much but I grabbed some magazines and stuff for you guys. I know it can get pretty boring down here.”

“Mmhmm,” Gert said, wanting to point out that she knew that he knew but now wasn’t the time.

“One day I’ll make it so we can have some wi-fi down here, I promise. There has to be a way.”

She smiled mischievously. “You certainly seem quite sure of yourself, Chase.”

He shrugged with a smile of his own. “What can I say? I like figuring out those kinda problems.” His eyes lingered on hers for a second before turning to Alex. “I’m sure Wilder and I can figure it out between the two of us.”

Alex nodded. “I guess we could try someday. As long as nobody will be able to track us.” He took the bag with the food and called “Dinner time!” as he walked to the kitchen.

 “This seemed like such a cool idea a couple of hours ago,” complained Molly.

“I know.”

“What _are_ we going to do all day in this place? There’s nothing to do or watch.”

“I know,” Gert replied, trying to be comforting. “Maybe someday, Molls.” She watched as Molly made her way to the other room, feeling guilty.

Hopefully someday Chase would figure that one out for them. Depending on how long they were planning to stay here. Which, truthfully, was looking like an inevitable lifetime for them.

“Well, I guess we better go in there,” Chase said.

“Yeah,” Gert answered, kind of wishing that they could stay and keep talking but god, she realized how starving she was at that moment. She would bug him about the mansion later, she decided, but for now she would let it be.

“After you.” And with that, she led their way to the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... that happened. lol Yes, trust me, next chapter there will be more Gertchase talkage. I promise. I kinda like that I'm making it a slow progression because while I don't plan to make this fic too long (you may have noticed I took out it being 3 chapters because I'm not sure if it'll be 4 parts or 5 now), I don't want this to feel too rushed either. Anyway, hopefully you enjoyed this and will stick around for more. Let me know what you thought in the comments!


	3. Parts of You I'll Never Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another sleepless night leads to Gert learning about the truth of Chase's dark secret. How will she react?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again! lol So now that they're settled into the Hostel we can get to what this fic is really supposed to be about, Gertchase alone at night having some thoughtful convos. This one was particularly emotional so I tried to handle it with care. I feel like Chase's abuse shouldn't be excused away & I would personally love to see him talk to Gert about it on the show. I feel like this feeling is pretty mutual in this fandom from what I've seen.
> 
> Also, once again thanks Lauren bb (backtothestart02) for betaing this & fangirling a little over a ship that you don't even ship/watch. It's a treat tbh to see that I can give feels to at least a non-watcher. lol

The rest of the day was rather uneventful. Not that there was much to do in an underground mansion. Not until the boys did their planned handiwork eventually anyway. So, after some idle chatter at dinner, everyone just seemed like they needed some rest. Worrying about their evil parents and managing their sanity could wait until tomorrow.

Later that night though, Gert was finding herself unable to sleep again. This insomniac behavior of hers was clearly becoming a thing, and she was not happy about it at all. Actually, she had managed to get some rest for a little bit until the dream she had been having began to turn into a nightmare. Another one featuring the man that the group knew simply as Jonah, who apparently turned out to be Karolina’s biological father, threatening their lives as their parents just stood by and watched.

_Wow, so this is going to be an every night thing now? Great._

Gert knew this had been only her second time having the dream but it did still concern her if this really was going to be a recurring thing. The group was safe. They were staying in an underground mansion, for God’s sake! At least for now, there really was no need to be worrying about being found.

Yet, she couldn’t shake her uneasy feeling from the look of the man’s menacing face. That night at the construction site, the parents had been panicked for their kids’ sakes when Jonah had shown up, but in her nightmare, they stood at his side in an unsettling stoic manner that was pretty spine-tingling to think about. So, it was no wonder why Gert really didn’t want to go back to sleep yet. Or ever, really.

Singing herself to sleep didn’t really seem like an option here, but the thought of going to see her dinosaur companion sounded like a possible cheer-up. If nothing else, Old Lace could keep her company for the night. So, with that in mind, Gert made her way to the door to look for the creature, who had decided that the dilapidated grand foyer was fine enough for her despite being such a mess. Gert told herself that it was because Old Lace was being protective and choosing to stay by the entrance in the odd-chance they had an intruder. _Bless that dinosaur._

What she hadn’t planned to see when she opened her door was Chase, standing outside of his own, clearly about to let himself into his room. He looked over as her door made a small creaking sound. “Oh, hey.”

“Hey.”

“Where you headed?”

“To get Lace.” Gert’s stomach grumbled at that moment. “Maybe a snack too,” she said with a laugh.

“Can’t sleep again either?” Chase frowned, concerned.

She gave a shrug, playing it off. “It’s just a new place, that’s all.” She chose not to mention the nightmare. That she knew would certainly make Chase worry about her. Gert didn’t want him to. “I just have to get used to it.”

“Right. I get it, it’s new for all of us.” He smiled at her warmly. “But at least it’s not the van, right?”

“Yep.” She nodded. “Well, don’t let me keep you.” Gert gestured to the doorknob that Chase currently had his hand resting on.

Chase nervously chuckled. “Yeah.” He paused, looking at her for another moment, before turning the knob and opening it. “Well, ‘night, Gert.”

“Goodnight, Chase.”

Once she watched him close his door, Gert started to continue her walk to the kitchen, but then stopped mid-step when she realized something.

Now was probably the best time to ask him the thing that had been bothering her all day. And well, seeing Chase unable to sleep in a place that she knew that he had frequented at one point made her curious. What exactly was keeping _him_ up at night?

Gert turned around and made for the master bedroom, but then stopped short from knocking on the door. She felt awkward about this all of a sudden and started questioning whether she should do it. She began to pace a little before she went to knock again, telling herself to just do it. To her surprise, that’s when the door opened. There was Chase, looking a little perplexed yet still slightly amused as well. “Gert?”

"You heard me?"

"Gert, this place is pretty quiet. I could hear your footsteps. You weren’t exactly subtle about it."

“Oh. Well…” She pursed her lips before making the decision to slip past him into the room. “I have a question I want to ask you.”

“Wait, Gert -“

“Wow.”

Chase’s bedroom was as big as she expected it would be since it was the master, but actually seeing it, she was impressed. “Like what you’ve done with the place,” she joked.

“Thanks,” Chase replied with a nervous laugh. 

“Why didn’t you want me to come in?”

“Huh? Oh. Uh, no reason. Room’s a mess, that’s all.”

Gert looked around, inspecting this claim and called bullshit, because it was spotless actually. Almost as if Chase had purposely cleaned it today to hide something. She was determined to figure out why. But first, she had another question to ask. And if she was right, then his answer would explain his hesitancy to her coming in.

“So, uh, you had a question to ask me? What’s up?”

Gert turned back to Chase and blurted what she’d been wanting to say for hours. “I know you’ve been here before.”

“What?”

“I can tell, Chase.”

“Why do you say that?” His voice went up as if he had been caught. _Bingo!_

“My bullshit radar has been going off all day since we got here.”

“Oh.” Chase sighed as though he wanted to keep denying it but seemed to realize there was no point. Not with her, at least. “I should have known you’d figure it out.” He ran his hands through his hair as he looked down. “Someone had to.”

So, she was right! Gert didn’t feel any enjoyment over that little victory though. If anything, it made her have more questions for him. Ones she knew he probably didn’t want to answer, but she asked anyway. “But why didn’t you say anything then? Why the secrecy?”

“It didn’t seem important,” Chase said, shrugging while still staring at the ground.

“Chase, seriously?”

He looked back at her, guilty. “Okay, that’s lame. But, uh... I don’t know. I guess I thought you guys would think it was, well… lame.”

“Lame isn’t exactly the word I would use to describe this place.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Gert grinned sincerely. “It’s kinda amazing actually. How much of it did you have to fix up yourself?”

“Uh, well, I fixed up this room mostly. The kitchen, the bathroom, the living room… I found a way to make it so there was electricity and plumbing in this place.”

“But how?”

Chase smirked, crossing his arms. “Wouldn’t you like to know…”

“Fine. Don’t tell me.” Gert stuck her tongue out, but still felt pleased with herself, getting him to admit that he had been here before. Though there was one more question she hadn’t asked yet and wasn’t feeling sure if she should. This conversation had suddenly taken on a light tone that a big part of her wanted to keep it at, but Gert knew if she didn’t broach the subject, she would regret it later. “I’m curious though… how long ago did you find it? Were you telling the truth?”

“It was all true. Just not the part where I was never down here before.”

“So… how many times _have_ you been down here?”

“The last time was like, a year ago, but it was a few.” Chase gulped, as if forcing himself to fess up. “More than a few, to be honest.”

“Oh.” Gert paused, working up the nerve to press on for one more question. The one she really wanted to know. She didn’t know why she needed to know, but she did. “So, why did you come here? I mean, to stay?”

“I- I’m not really proud of the reason, okay?”

Suddenly, Gert considered something and hoped she was wrong, but she couldn’t help voicing it. “Why, did you use this place for hookups?”

“What? No!” He cocked his head and looked at her for a beat. “You really think this is a place I would take someone to hook up?”

Gert waved her arm around, finding it hard to contain her snark. “Well, this room _is_ pretty fancy, to be fair.”

“Maybe but no.”

“Well okay then, I just don't get why you're being so weird about it. It's a simple question, Chase-“

“Gert, please…”

“As a group, we don't keep things from each other anymore… right?” She took a small step forward so that she was looking up at him. “So, what is it?”

 

* * *

 

There was something about the way Gert was looking at him that made Chase want to tell her everything, which kind of scared him shitless to be honest. Everyone knew that he had grown up hating his father. He had never been shy about that part. It was the darker part of that fact that he managed to keep so buried.

 Not that he hadn’t almost spilled out the truth over the years. There had been so many times that Chase would have unexplained bruises that he would instinctively blame on lacrosse, even when he hadn’t practiced that day or the one before. It had just become second nature.

Sometimes it would be convincing. Other times people, namely Gert, would look at him like she was right now. Both concerned and unsure whether to believe him. Chase knew he couldn’t lie to her right now. She would see right through it. Still, he had a decision to make. How much was he willing to share with her?

After a long stretch of silence, he finally spoke. “Well, you know my dad…”

Gert nodded. “Yeah... I mean, he's never particularly been my _favorite_ person on the planet, even before all the human sacrifices...” She bit her lip. “And I _know_ you said he was being hard on you. He was always kinda a dick.” A weak laugh left her mouth. She was trying to keep the conversation from going too heavy if he wanted, almost like she was giving him an out. Maybe Gert could sense where this was going and could now tell why he didn’t want to talk about it.

Chase almost took the bait and said some kind of joke but he didn’t. He felt like being honest, now that Gert had already helped him open up a little. Besides, all their parents were evil apparently. His dad had just shown his crueler side a lot sooner than the others. No point in keeping her in the dark about it anymore.

“Well, let's just say his form of discipline wasn't always verbal.”

He watched as Gert gasped and her eyes widened. “He hit you? Like, actually...” She mimed an air-punch. “Hit you?”

Chase couldn’t help the sneer that briefly took over his face. “Oh yeah. Over the years, it… escalated.”

“Chase...” Gert was looking at him with the expression he had dreaded to see. Pity. “You never said-“

“I didn't want you guys feeling sorry for me. Ever.”

Gert shook her head fiercely. “But we were your friends! We could have been there for-“

“It wouldn't have stopped it.”

“But-“

“Gert,” Chase started. This little conversation had gone on long enough. He didn’t know how much longer he could look at her pitying face. It was starting to make him feel uncomfortable. “I appreciate what you're saying, but it's all in the past. It's over.”

“I always knew that you hated him, and I always knew he was horrible, but I never thought that he would actually…” Gert appeared to have a tear in the corner of her eye as she gritted her teeth. “That bastard.” Another thought seemed to come to her. “Did he… hit your mom too?” She knew the answer, he could tell, but still felt like she had to ask.

“Yeah. Most times if I was there I would try and stand in the way before he actually could. Sometimes he was too quick though.”

“Oh, Chase…”

There it was again. The sympathy. “He was a prick, all right?” Chase tried to keep his emotions in check. He wasn’t mad at Gert. It was only natural for her to want to comfort him after finding out about this. He would be the same way if he were in her place. And yet, Chase still couldn’t bring himself to let this go on any further. “He just was worse than everyone thought.”

“But I don’t get it, why did you want PRIDE to save him so badly that night? He almost killed y-“

“I know.”

Gert gave him a sad knowing smile. “You still love him… don’t you?” Chase couldn’t contain his gulp. She grabbed for his hand. “Chase, you are a _good guy_.” She said it so definitively that it gave him goosebumps. Was she saying this because she could tell his biggest fear? That one day, out of the blue, that cruelness that would always overtake his father in angry stupors would move onto _him_? Or that it was already there inside of him, without his knowledge? That was a possibility that terrified him.

Chase shook his head. “It doesn't matter. In the end, he was still a bad guy. He was helping them and my mom was too...” He dropped his sentence, knowing the words to be true, and yet he couldn’t help but think of the few heartfelt conversations he had with his father that past week, before that last night in his father’s lab, before everything went absolutely batshit crazy. He had been so blinded by kind words he had longed to hear for so long. But now, he knew better.

“You’re conflicted.” Gert’s voice broke through his thoughts.

“Not now. Not anymore. Especially not after us being framed for Destiny.” Chase looked at her, unapologetically. “But yeah, I could tell my mom cared about my safety.” He shook his head. “That doesn't change the fact that what they were both a part of was disgusting. I never should have tried to redeem them in my head just because my dad finally wanted to talk to me and be proud of me...” He sighed and turned a little so she couldn’t see his face, letting her hand fall. There was a good chance tears were forming in his eyes. A second later, one strolled down. _Yep_. “Gert, we don't have to keep talking about this.”

“Chase... I get why you were like that.” She gave him a pained smile. “Remember, I didn’t want to believe my parents could be a part of this either. I was in denial about it at first.”

Chase began to feel ashamed. He wasn’t the only one who had found out what despicable things their parents did in their free time recently. “I can't imagine what it was like for you finding out. My family’s always been all sorts of screwed up but you… your parents always seemed like the nicest. The kind I would want.”

A mirthless snort escaped Gert’s lips. “Yeah, so much for that.”

Chase felt determined to make this downer conversation take a turn for the better. “Well, when in doubt, we've all got each other, right?”

It seemed to work because the smile on her face became more genuine. “Yeah.”

“Since you declared us all a family the other night during the fight.”

Gert laughed as she cringed, remembering. “I did.” She tilted her head. “ I meant it though.”

“So… I guess we can start acting like one.”

“Right.” She didn’t seem to get what he meant by that exactly but appreciated the sentiment all the same.

“I promise, I’ll be honest from now on.”

“Good.”

Their eyes lingered on each other’s in the silence and Chase was overcome by this indescribable feeling all of a sudden. Gert knew the truth. He always knew if there was anyone in the group he could have talked to about it, it would have been her. Yes, snarky comments were her jam but at the end of the day, he could count on her to make him feel better. Some nights, when they were younger, he would call her after a fight just to hear her voice. It would soothe him. He would just let her rant about whatever thing was currently bothering her and pretend that he didn’t have an abusive asshole of a father.

But this time, he was the one who got to get some of the frustration out. He got to take some of that weight he carried everyday off his shoulders. It felt good.

He suddenly noticed he had been holding in a breath and sighed. In relief, he realized. He had needed someone to really talk to about this, besides venting to his mom in the past. Why hadn’t he before?

Oh, right. Pity. He didn’t generally like people feeling sorry for him, but this, in the end, had made him feel better.

Even better than punching at things, which he tended to do if he got too frustrated. Tonight, that urge had overtaken him when he had tried to fall asleep and couldn’t push away thoughts of how screwed up their lives had gotten. So, he remembered the old gym that he had also fixed up and took out all his anger on the punching bag, and pretended that it was _them_ , PRIDE. His father. All of them were sick individuals.

Chase pushed these thoughts away as he realized that Gert was beginning to look a little tentative. He knew he had been awfully quiet for a little while now and was probably making her uncomfortable. “You probably want me to leave you alone now,” she said. Thankfully, it didn’t seem as if she was in a rush to go, so when he shook his head, she smiled.

“You can stay, if you want to.”

“Okay.” She looked around, still unsure. “Um, could we sit down? Despite me not being able to sleep exactly, my legs seem to be disagreeing with me.”

“Oh, sure.” It hit him there were only two options for her to sit on. A single chair on the other side of the room or his bed. “Um…”

Gert seemed to realize this as well. Her eyes wandered towards the chair. As much as he would have loved to have her sitting on his bed, he didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable. It was weird because they had been much closer than that in the van, but it was different, because in here, they were alone. Chase was afraid of his emotions getting the better of him and ruining them becoming better friends again. Since that’s what it seemed like  Gert wanted from him. Not a relationship, not even a fling. Just friendship, which he was fine with, if that’s what she really wanted. He never saw her being a possible option for him before. Why start now, right?

“Here, let me get that.” Chase went to pull the chair closer to the bed so she could still be nearby when he spotted the garment that laid slung on it and stopped in his tracks. How had he missed it?

Gert tried to peer around him. “What is it?”

Chase grabbed the thing and hid it behind his back. “Nothing.”

She looked at him with raised eyebrows and her hands on her hips. _Yikes._ “What about being honest from now on?”

Gert had him there. He had promised. Not to mention, she already knew he had stayed here and why. This just would have been a small bit of proof confirming what she already knew. “You’re right.” Chase held up the article in question. It was a simple white hoodie with the words “ATLAS ACADEMY” etched across the middle in blue & yellow, and in smaller print the word “Lacrosse” below. And if that wasn’t already damning enough, his number was on the back of it. There was a faded blood stain on the front.

Chase had clearly left it here one morning when he was probably in a hurry. It was amazing to think how he had forgotten this one item of clothing. He wondered if Gert truly had been meant to find out his secret tonight, even if he hadn’t spilled.

“Wow.”

To his surprise, Chase saw tears starting to emerge from her eyes as she looked at the hoodie. He realized that it was possibly only just now truly hitting Gert that he really had come here to stay and the reason for it. “I still can’t believe that you… That he-“

Chase couldn’t take seeing her look that sad so he impulsively grabbed for her, throwing the hoodie to the floor, and pulled her into a warm hug. Only for a second did she seem shocked before settling her face against his chest. He pulled her in a little tighter so that his grip on her was more secure. He even rocked her a little back and forth.

“I’m sorry,” Gert mumbled against his shirt. “I don’t know what came over me. I just-“ She lifted her head slightly to look at him. “The thought of him doing that to you is just repulsive, you know?”

Somehow Chase found it in himself to smile. “I get it. You don’t have apologize for that, Gert. You’re human.”

“So are you,” she reminded him.

“I know.” His eyes lingered on hers, hoping that she saw that he really did know, and that one day he would be willing to talk about all of this again, but for tonight, he was ready to let it go.

Gert let out an unexpected big yawn. She pulled away from his hold to laugh. “Well, apparently, my body is tired from this emotional talk tonight.”

“Apparently,” Chase replied, chuckling.

“I guess I really should go to bed,” Gert said, stifling another yawn as she did.

“Yeah…” Chase trailed off, wishing that she would suddenly not be tired and stay anyway. Despite all the sadness that had come with it, he really had been enjoying this conversation with Gert. He didn’t want to stop talking to her. Or holding her.

_Control yourself, man._

Still…

* * *

 

“Chase?” Gert found herself rambling as she looked up at him. “I don’t really feel like walking to my room right now, and honestly, with my track record, I’ll probably just have another nightmare anyway so… Um, could I… Never mind.”

“Wait, Gert, are you asking…” She saw Chase’s eyes grow big, which she took to mean he was feeling panicked at the thought of being in the same bed as her. _Great, now you scared him._

“Forget it. It’s stupid. I can just get Lace like I was going to and...” Though, in all honesty, Gert didn’t really want to. She remembered how it had felt being in Chase’s arms. Safe. There was something about being around him that made her feel that way. Nightmares be damned. Still though, they weren’t together. They also weren’t in a van where they could blame it on the tight space. Gert didn’t need to be asking Chase this. She had just made things awkward.

“Gert, you can stay.”

“Are you sure?”

She saw that his mouth had curved up in a welcoming smile. Those damn dimples! “It’s fine. Stay.” He held up his hands. “I promise to be a perfect gentleman.”

“You better.” Gert smirked before coyly walking towards the bed. She paused, waiting to see what Chase would do. “Do you have a preference?” She saw the confusion on his face. “A side of the bed?”

“Not particularly.”

“Good, because I do.” She made for the left side and pulled the covers to get in, claiming her spot.

“Interesting.” Chase walked to the other side and got in as well. This is when it really began to hit her that she was planning to spend the rest of the night in the same bed as him. This was really happening.

Part of her wished she had her glasses on so she had something to do to distract herself, but she had left them in her room, not necessary to wear them to get Old Lace. So, she just forced herself to lay down and situate herself into a comfortable position. “Are you really sure this is okay?”

“Yes, Gert, it’s fine. Honest.”

She turned to look at him, making sure it really was fine. It was. “Okay.”

A few moments passed before she spoke again. “Chase?”

“Yeah?”

“This is probably a dumb question considering, but… Do you miss your home?”

“No. Why, do you miss yours?”

“Sorta.” She felt guilty for feeling that way, but she did miss it. It was all she knew.

Chase turned to face her, resting his head on his elbow. “A house isn't a home, Gert. Not really. I realized that early on in life.”

Gert looked around, then back at him. “This is kinda our home now, isn’t it?”

“It is. A temporary one, hopefully.” She was certain that he knew as well as she did that the temporary part wasn’t a realistic way of looking at things. This was most likely forever. The more Gert thought about it, the more it scared her. And yet, she was warming up to it. A little, at least.

Her eyelids felt heavy. Sleep was claiming her, whether she was ready for it or not. Ah well, they could talk more in the morning. More than plenty had been said tonight. “Goodnight,” she murmured into her pillow.

The last thing Gert remembered before dozing off was Chase whispering the sentiment back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed that and hopefully thought I was writing them in-character still. Plz let me know what you thought in the comments.
> 
> Also, who else is pumped for S2 after yesterday?!! That little teaser wasn't much but seeing all my bbs as their characters again even if only in a fake message made me so happy. I can't wait til the day we get to see actual new footage. Still can't believe we're getting all 13 eps at once. *will prob die if we have to wait until the end of the season for Gertchase to get together lol* Best Christmas present ever!


	4. Staying the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another sleepless night, another conversation that brings Gert & Chase closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol, god I hate writing chapter summaries. I suck at them. So I actually am deciding to post this without my friend Lauren betaing it (lol oops sorry hun), because I'm suddenly finding myself feel a little impatient and just wanted to share it with you guys, hoping that you enjoy it. Hope it was worth the wait??
> 
> Also, interesting note, this chapter has the most Chase pov I've written by far.

That next morning, it was Gert who was the first to wake up. So far this had never happened when sleeping next to Chase. She was always waking up after him and wound up being caught in some embarrassing position. Well, when she opened her eyes, she was certainly in another awkward one. Once again, she was curled up against him and held his hand in a tight grip. Only this time, her face was inches from his since his body was curved towards hers. Not to mention, his hand not holding hers was currently resting on her back.

Gert had forgotten that while dozing off she and Chase had still been facing each other. She flushed at the thought of her probably throwing herself at him in her sleep and Chase, seemingly not wanting to be rude, letting it happen.

_How does this always seem to happen? Why can’t I just keep my hands to myself when I’m around him lately?_

Gert obviously understood the biological reason behind it. Her body couldn’t help responding to his being in such close proximity to hers. That much was clear. Still, it was mortifying to see just how much her attraction to Chase would betray her each morning. Having to face him and act as though she wasn’t dying on the inside was getting to be pretty hard for her.

But this morning was different. First, she could save herself from the humiliation of being handsy in her sleep. That is, if Gert was able to slide from her spot without rousing Chase. Which in theory, seemed rather simple, but his arm’s grip on her was rather firm. And well, the boy was quite strong, so her escaping this predicament seemed unlikely after all.

That’s when it hit Gert that she wasn’t the only one who had gotten a little touchy-feely while sleeping that night. What did it say that Chase had unmistakably reached out for her as well?

_Probably nothing. Don’t be an idiot and overthink it._

Still, being this close to him was starting to really have an effect on Gert. Her breathing grew a little heavier. For a split second, she thought it was one of her panic attacks, but no, it wasn’t. If anything, this was her attraction towards him getting the better of her in this moment. Still, she found herself doing her counting exercise in her head anyway to steady the breathing. As she did so, Gert focused in on Chase’s face, both wishing that he would wake up soon and hoping that he wouldn’t.

As she looked at him, Gert couldn’t help really taking him in. The boy was undoubtedly handsome and always had been. _Out of your league_ , she had always told herself. A fact that was really hitting her in that moment, being so close to something that had always seemed so out of her reach.

She found herself counting the few moles that covered his face and sparing a glance at his lips. If she let herself think really hard, Gert could remember what it had felt like to have them on hers. And with that, everything else started flooding back to her. The way his tongue had slipped in to meet hers, making her lose any and all inhibitions she had left before grabbing for his belt. His hands reaching to slide off the straps of her slip, letting the garment slowly fall to the floor. His body pressed up against hers as they started shuffling their feet towards the wall-

Once again, Gert’s breathing started going a little erratic, and this time she made to pull away from Chase, deciding that sleeping with him in this bed might have been a bad idea after all. Unfortunately for her, when Gert tried to untangle herself from him, Chase’s arm wrapped around her more securely. She couldn’t contain the gasp that escaped her.

Gert had squeezed Chase’s hand tightly as this happened so she didn’t have to question why at that moment he began to stir in his sleep. His eyes slowly fluttered open. She could tell that his vision was still adjusting, but she watched as his pupils grew larger in seconds as he realized their current sleeping positions. “Oh, Gert. Hi.” Little by little, he dragged his arm back towards his side. “Uh, sorry, I…”

There was something really amusing about being on the other side of this interaction for once. “It’s okay, you were asleep.” Gert couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped her. “I’ve practically been falling asleep on you these last few days, so… It’s only fair, right?”

“Yeah.” Chase seemingly found his sense of humor again since a laugh came out. “I guess so.”

“Um…” Gert found her eyes trailing back to his mouth, and her heart did some kind of fluttering thing. She suddenly wanted to dash out of the room so fast, knowing that there would be more awkwardness ahead if she stayed in it for much longer. She slipped her hand out from his. “So… I should probably get out of here now.”

Chase frowned as if he didn’t understand what she was saying. “Wait, Gert…”

“I wonder what time it is.” She sat up in her spot, making to get out of the bed. “And if the others are up…”

“Gert…”

“Yeah?”

“Are you… mad at me or something?” Chase’s eyes had that same look in them Gert had seen that night at the construction site. She hadn’t meant to hurt his feelings, honest. She just had been trying to save both of them from the embarrassment of this situation.

“What? No.” She smiled at him, reassuringly. “Not at all, Chase. I-“

“I just… I don’t want things to be weird. I mean, after…” _Last night_ , she wanted to finish for him.

Gert shook her head. “No, we’re all good here. And I promise, I won’t tell the others about your dad. It’ll just be our secret, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Thanks, by the way. For letting me stay in here last night.”

Chase’s smile returned. “Sure. Like I said, I didn’t mind. I think last night helped me a little too. I actually got the best sleep I’ve had in days.”

“Me too.” They held each other’s gaze for a moment, but of course it was Gert that broke it first. It was as if she couldn’t handle being alone with him anymore. Not like this. Not in his bed. “We should probably…”

“Gert?”

“Mm?” She bit her lip, worried what his next words would be.

“Just know, if you can’t sleep again, my door’s always open. If you need someone to talk to about it, I mean.”

Gert couldn’t help but smile back, even if only slightly. “Okay.” Despite how she was acting right now, last night had meant a lot to her. Chase had opened up to her in such a big way, telling her something that no one else in the group knew about him. The importance of that wasn’t lost on her. Still, she didn’t want herself to read too much into it and ruin the friendship they were rebuilding by mistaking it as anything more than one friend sharing something so deeply personal to another.

And with how she had been acting since she woke up, Gert wasn’t sure she could trust herself from doing something foolish with him again.

“You know, I think I’m gonna go wash up and then make everyone breakfast. I’m starving,” she said, leaving Chase to look a little confused as she exited the bedroom.

_It really is better this way. Before I go making another mistake._

Gert decided that, no matter what, she was going to spend the rest of the day with Molly and Old Lace. A much-needed distraction and really, she could use the girl time. That is, if she didn’t die from boredom in this mansion first.

 

* * *

 

Chase ended up being the last one in the kitchen since clearly the aroma of pancakes and syrup had traveled enough to peak the others’ interests. He took in the scene and spared a glance in Gert’s direction. She caught his eye and gave the tiniest of smiles before quickly looking back at her plate. He noticed that the seat next to her was free so after grabbing his plate and food, he claimed it as his own.

“This looks good.”

“Thanks.” Gert’s answer came out in no more than a mere whisper.

Before Chase could get another word in, Alex started speaking to all of them. “So, I had my doubts about this place, but I think Chase definitely made the right call suggesting it. It’s pretty ideal for the situation.”

“Too bad about the Wi-Fi though,” Molly lamented.

“None of us have phones anymore anyway. Maybe one day we can have it, but let’s just be glad we’re still alive, all right?”

The bespectacled boy had a point. They were lucky they hadn’t been tracked so far, and now they had a place where that shouldn’t be too much of a concern anymore. Besides maybe going out in their not-so subtle getaway van, but Chase knew they could figure out a solution to that down the road.

For now, though, they were looking okay. As long as they could keep their sanity intact.

The rest of the meal was mostly eaten in silence. Probably because most of them were realizing the reality of their situation and didn't want to voice it. Chase couldn't blame them. He may have stayed here in the past, but it had never been for more than a night at a time, so really he was in the same boat as them.

That said, the place was so huge that surely there were more things to be discovered. Not even he could say he had been in every room of the mansion, which is a fact that he brought up to the others. This information seemed to peak their curiosity. “Ooh, we should look around some more!” Molly exclaimed.

“You know, that sounds like a good idea,” Gert replied. She didn’t seem to waste any time grabbing for her plate and getting up. “We’ll do dishes later. I should probably go check on Lace too. She needs to be fed.” Chase tried to catch her attention, but if he didn’t know any better, going by her looking at anything or anyone but him, it seemed like she was trying to get away from him. Fast.

_What…?_

He thought she said they were okay now. What had changed so quickly?

Chase was tempted to follow the others for their further exploration of the mansion, but Gert’s mood shift made him reconsider. He wondered if she might have been lying when she said that last night hadn’t changed things between them. First, by him telling her about his heavy secret. And then second, by his apparent unconscious desire to touch her. Which in Chase’s defense was something that he couldn’t have controlled in his sleep. He would never make any kind of advances towards her without knowing that she was a willing participant. She had to know that.

He sat at the table for a good moment before grabbing his plate and heading to the sink. While mulling over these thoughts, Chase washed all the dishes himself by hand.

Maybe he was imagining things. He hoped he was. It wasn’t as if Gert had snapped at him or anything.

What did he expect? Her to want to hang out with him all the time now just because they were able to finally talk to each other normally again? She had Molly and the other girls. Not to mention, her own dinosaur companion. Still, Chase decided he was going to test this the next time he saw her. Just in case.

Which turned out to be what felt like many hours later. It probably was.

Chase had decided to spend his time alone brainstorming things that he could do to improve make the mansion feel more like a home. He got a start on this by cleaning up what he could of the grand foyer. If he got nothing else done today, at least he had tried to make it so Old Lace was more comfortable in her chosen sleeping space.

Not specifically for the reason of pleasing Gert or anything, he told himself, but it certainly was a good motivation to tidy it up.

At some point, Chase heard the group making their way from somewhere in the distance, laughing and sounding genuinely happy for the first time in a while. _Huh? What did I miss…?_

“I can’t believe we didn’t know that was there this whole time!” cried Molly. “Too bad that theater only has old movies though.”

“Hey, take that back! I love old movies!” Gert shouted.

Chase followed their voices and found the other teenagers with Old Lace trailing behind Gert looking as though they had been having quite the time exploring. “I take it you guys found something?”

“Chase!” Molly beamed at him. “There’s a basement with a rec room _and_ a theater! Can you believe it?” He couldn’t help smiling back, finding her enthusiasm contagious.

“That’s pretty awesome.”

At that moment, Molly yawned, stretching her arms out. “I don’t know what time it is, but I’m getting tired, so… Later!” And with that, the younger teen made her way to her room.

“There was also a pretty impressive library,” Alex stated, rubbing his glasses. “Too bad there’s no _Running Away for Dummies_ books in there.” He shook his head. “But at least there’s stuff to do to pass the time now. Tomorrow we’re gonna have to work out a long-term game plan for this set-up. All right?” With a nod, he walked off.

Chase noticed Nico giving a look towards Karolina with a head jerk in the direction that the others had went. “You know, I think we’re tired too.” The goth grabbed Karolina’s hand and led the blonde towards the rooms. Not before giving Chase a knowing wink, that is.

He turned to Gert, who he found was petting Old Lace and telling goodnight as the dinosaur settled in a comfortable spot.  Chase watched her curiously as she looked in the direction the others went, clearly debating whether to take off for her own room as well. While she did start walking, Gert also looked over at him expectantly, and so he fell into step beside her.

“So, uh, what have you been doing this whole time?”

“Um, honestly? Been thinking of all the possible ways I can improve this place and wondering why I hadn’t before.”

Gert smiled, hearteningly. “Well, to be fair, you weren’t actually living here. So, you probably didn’t think you had to.”

“True.”

“Knowing you though, I’m sure you won’t stop until we’ll never wanna leave this place ever again.”

“You think?” Chase cocked his head, giving a mischievous grin.

“Oh, yeah. Not to mention, a personal movie theater? We are _thriving_ in this underground hideout.”

Neither of them could contain their laughter that followed. Everything about being here was surreal. There was no doubt about that.

“I still don’t understand how this place works. Like, how is this even possible?”

Chase shrugged with a shake of his head. “I have no idea. All I know about it is what I’ve read and from staying here. It doesn’t make any sense to me either, but I try not to question it too much.”

“I mean, a mansion mostly intact at the bottom of a canyon? It’s like one of those _Buzzfeed Unsolved_ mysteries.”

“Huh?”

Based on Gert’s facial expression, Chase could tell this was the wrong response. She looked kind of offended. “Seriously? You’re missing out.”

“The day I get us wi-fi in here we can binge it.”

“Good. I’m totally forcing you if you forget.”

“Noted,” Chase said with a laugh.

At that moment, they reached Gert’s room. A quietness settled in, and he decided to take this opportunity to ask what he had been pondering over earlier before she was bound to beat him to the punch and called it a night. Despite them seeming fine right now, he still needed to know.

“Hey, Gert?”

“Hmm?”

“You know how this morning you said we were okay?” Chase turned her way, making sure to see her reaction. “Did you mean it? That things aren’t weird between us now after last night? Because of what I told you?”

He watched as Gert’s pupils widened. “What? No. Why do you say that?”

 “I just got a vibe earlier.”

“Must be imagining things, Chase.” He watched as she bit her lip and wondered again if he had been, despite her objections. He could have just let it go there, but Chase pushed it one more time, not being able to help himself.

“Sure about that? Because it sure seemed like you couldn’t get out of my room fast enough this morning and-“

“I didn’t bolt.” Chase felt his eyebrows furrow as he watched Gert look away from him. “Okay, I did, but these last 72 hours or so have been crazy, okay? And-"

“Gert…”

“Look, I meant what I said about not telling the others. I wouldn’t do that. And, I’m sorry I was weird today. It wasn’t because of what you told me.” She smiled, softly. “I’m glad you did.”

“Mean it?”

“Honest.”

Silence had come again, but this time the uneasiness from before wasn’t there. Chase chose to leave this subject be. It was starting to hit him how long they had been standing there outside her door and he noticed Gert grabbing at her arm in a way that made it seem that she was done with this for the night.

But Chase wasn’t completely ready to end this night chat thing they had going on again. He enjoyed it. Still, he tested the waters. “So, think you’ll be able to sleep tonight?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.” Gert didn’t seem convinced at her own words. She bit her lip again until she let out a sigh she had been holding in. “So,” she started, looking up at him, “coming in, or are we just gonna stand in the hallway all night?”

Chased blinked, positive he had heard her wrong. “You sure?”

Gert gave a simple nod before opening her door and leading the way. “I’m just not ready to sleep yet. Keep me company until then?” She casually sat down on her bed, kicking off her shoes.

“Okay.”

Chase looked around her room, taking it all in, before sitting on her bed as well. He noticed how Gert curled up her knees the moment he did, anxiously.

“Am I making you uncomfortable?”

“No.” The slight tremble in her voice suggested otherwise, but Chase didn’t push it. He kept his distance from her, just in case. He still couldn’t believe she had invited him into her room in the first place, even if it did seem simply to be because she didn’t feel like being alone right now. That said, she could have gone to get Old Lace like she meant to last night. So maybe it did mean something that Gert allowed him in here.

Chase found himself thinking that it was crazy how just days ago they had come back into each other’s lives again. To think there was a time when he wasn’t having late night conversations with her every night.

“I still can't believe that it was like 2 weeks ago I just wanted an A in Spanish,” he spoke.

“Yeah,” Gert snorted.

“Still sorry I stood you up for that, by the way.”

Gert shook her head. “You apologized for that already, remember?” Her lips curved downward. “Besides, I think you were meant to… Because of…” Chase could tell she didn’t want to bring up what had almost happened with Karolina and his ex-shithead lacrosse “friends” that night at the party he had ditched Gert for. They both knew what would have happened if Chase hadn’t been there to save Karolina. It didn’t need to be spoken.

“But I never did formally forgive you,” Gert managed, trying to get back to lightheartedness.

Chase smirked. “Well, with all the other bullshit going on…”

The two shared a mutual brief laugh. _Understatement of the year._

“Sometimes I wish we could go back,” he mused, unintentionally out loud.

Gert pursed her lips. “Oh, back to school and popularity, you mean?”

“What? No.” Chase frowned at her, wondering how she could have forgotten what he had said that night at the dance. He had meant every word. He didn’t miss that part at all. Living like that had all been an act that he had grown tired of. “When we were younger. Do it over. Before losing Amy. Even after Amy, but then I guess with our parents all that still would have been bullshit.”

“Right.” Gert looked down, sighing. She looked disappointed but not surprised.

“Not with you guys though,” Chase clarified. “That part was real.”

“Was it?” she asked him, breathlessly.

“It was. But then maybe we were meant to go our own ways. To realize we all needed each other.”

“You think?”

“I hope so.” He locked eyes with Gert, praying that she believed him. He needed her to. “Because two years feels like a long time to stop being friends with someone you’ve known your whole life.”

“Yeah.”

“I am sorry, Gert.”

“Me too.”

They had reached another impasse, letting the silence wash over them. Moments like this with her were pretty nerve-racking, to be honest. After all, this was her room. She could kick him out if she pleased, but so far, all seemed fine enough.

Chase turned to see Gert taking her glasses off and getting more settled in her spot. “You wanting me to go?”

“No, you can stay. Just getting more comfortable.” She tucked her hair behind her ear. “Actually, I seem to sleep better after we talk. I don’t know why, but it helps.”

“Are your… panic attacks usually that bad?”

“Without my meds? Sure.” Her eyes were downcast, barely meeting his. “But I can cope. Besides, there’s more to anxiety than sleepless nights. You do realize that, right?”

“Are you sure? Maybe we could plan a break-in to your house sometime. Get them back to you.” Chase had hoped to see a smile at that, but there wasn’t one, so he went a step further. “I know Nico’s gonna go nuts without her magical staff someday so maybe we could make a whole thing of it and get them both back.”

“Chase, I don’t know…”

“Don’t you wanna be able to sleep better?”

“Yeah, but it’s too risky. Look, it’s rough, but I’ve been dealing with this for years. I can handle it, okay?” Gert said all this with a firm tone, but it wasn’t completely convincing. Still, Chase knew better than to press the issue right now. She was putting up her tough exterior, making this argument pointless.

“Maybe someday?”

“Maybe.”

At least he had gotten her to consider it. That was something.

“You know what I don’t get? Why you can’t sleep. You used to come here all the time.”

Chase’s jaw clenched, not expecting her to turn the tables on him. But then, Gert was quick like that when she was on the defensive. He had hoped his dad wouldn’t have been brought up again so soon, but it looked as though it couldn’t be completely avoided. Not when he was part of the reason Chase couldn’t sleep. “Well, it doesn’t help that this place brings back old memories.”

He watched as Gert’s mouth opened wide, as if realizing her mistake. “Chase… I shouldn't have said- That makes complete sense. I’m sorry.” She shifted in her spot uncomfortably. “I just thought with it being where you went to get away from him that you’d feel, I don’t know, safe here.”

The logic was sound. Chase knew that. “I know. I just have all these thoughts at night that keep me up, you know? Like, did PRIDE really save my dad in time? Do I even want him to be alive still? And what I’d do if I ever saw him again…”

Gert looked hesitant to ask, but she did anyway. “What _would_ you do?”

“I don’t know.” It was the truth. He really didn’t know. Chase hated the man, but did he have it in himself to use his fistigons against Victor Stein? He remembered the single punch that he had gotten in against his dad that night in the lab. Then he remembered the stone-cold look in the man’s face as he turned their shared creation on his own son and used them. Then there had been the pleading. _“Dad, please, no. Please, don’t, please.”_ Then he heard that bang of the gunshot all over again.

His mom had finally taken a stand against her husband. If Chase ever got to see his dad again, maybe he could too.

“Look, um, I don’t want to talk about my dad tonight, okay? Some other time, but not now. Please, Gert?”

“Sure.” Her eyes softened with a hint of smile. “What do you wanna talk about?”

“Anything else.” Chase moved around a little so that his back was against the headboard. He looked up at the ceiling and sighed. “I wish we had a roof we could sit on. Or at least one that we wouldn’t have to worry about caving in from sitting on it.”

Gert giggled. “You actually remember that? That was eighth grade!”

“So? I liked those nights. They were…nice. And I happen to like the stars.” He looked at her disbelieving face. “Hey, if I remember right, you desperately wanted to be my science partner.”

“Well, I wanted a good grade, and you practically boasted that you had a killer view, so…”

“Ah, using me for my dad's telescope.” Chase shook his head, grinning. “And here I thought you had enjoyed my company too.”

Gert crossed her arms, smirking. “What can I say? If I recall, I did most of the work that semester.”

“Hey, it's nothing I couldn't have done. I just was bored by the project.”

“Oh, were you? Yeah, I could tell.” There was a scowl on her face. “Since you were always on your phone.”

“What? No, I wasn't. Not always.” Chase shook his head again with an eyeroll. “To be fair, you took that stargazing pretty seriously. Maybe if you had looked away from them more often, you would have noticed there was someone else there who wanted to talk about stuff. You know, besides stars.”

“Oh, was there?” There was still a slight edge in her voice, but the curiosity in it was unmistakable.

“Sure. We were friends, remember?”

“Trust me, I knew. I just wasn't getting texts or playing games on my phone while my ‘friend’ did our homework for them.”

Chase sighed dramatically. “Okay, I sucked as a science partner. I am _sorry_ , Gert.” There was more he actually wanted to say, but it would have made things even more awkward.

How was he supposed to tell her that he had been texting Amy for advice about being alone with Gert and whether he should make a move? Sure, occasionally he would get a text or so from Eiffel because back in middle school she was always trying to get his attention, but he had never shown her much then. Amy though, he had bugged her most nights that Gert came over to his house.

Sure, Chase later became popular and developed an easy swagger, especially when it came to the girls. But in eighth grade? He was friends with people who he had always felt were smarter than him. Especially Gert, who had an opinion on pretty much everything and never seemed afraid to share it with him. Or anyone for that matter. Most of the time, he would listen to her and blink a lot, feeling like an idiot in comparison.

No wonder Chase had always thought she saw him that way. That’s how he had felt about himself too.

So yes, at one point, he'd had a crush on Gert when they were younger. Until one day Chase decided it was pointless. After Amy died, he pushed it aside completely and decided to make a change for himself.

“All is forgiven, Chase. Four years later.” Gert’s laugh that followed broke through his thoughts.

“Thanks.”

There was a moment of quiet before Gert’s next words came. “So, you really don’t think you’ll be able to sleep tonight then? Even in your big old fancy master bedroom?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Something tells me you won’t.” She looked over at him but didn’t quite meet his gaze. “I know I won’t.”

The next words out of Chase’s mouth were bold, but seemed worth a shot. “Do you want me to stay in here tonight?” He saw Gert’s eyes widen like a deer in headlights. “It just seems like last night helped both of us. And if you can’t sleep, well, there’s a good chance I won’t be able to be sleep, so you’ll have someone to talk to. Whatd'ya say?”

Chase was positive she wanted to say no; she had to be thinking it. And yet, as Gert sucked in her lip, he could tell she was considering letting him stay. “Okay. You can.” She moved to get under the covers. “Come on, before I change my mind.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

And with that, Chase settled in on his side of the bed. He looked over at Gert, who if he wasn’t mistaken was starting to look doubtful about this set-up. He was about to speak, but before he could, she turned so that she wasn’t facing him. “Goodnight, Chase.”

Chase laid there in disbelief at the mood change, but decided to play it off. “Yeah, sure. Goodnight, Gert.” He reached over to turn the light off.

This night had been so weird, and yet, completely worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was that. lol Based on how I have next chapter outlined, I think it's gonna be the last one. Since this wasn't meant to be that long of a fic. It just kinda developed into being 2 chapters longer than initially planned. heh Anyway, feedback is definitely welcomed so let me know what you thought. :)


	5. Lingering Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Gert & Chase get more comfortable with each other and their set-up, things take a small turn. Also, Karolina & Nico have some things to say to Gert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That chap title & summary is cringe imo but whatever. lol I know it's been over 2 months since I've updated. Partly inspiration and partly (mostly) waiting for betaing. I did have the original draft of this done in September but it did need some fixing. And well, Lauren was persistent about betaing Chap 4 before she touched this even tho I had already posted it without her checking it (and honestly thank goodness she did cuz there was some cringe I hadn't noticed) & she's really busy with all her fic writing and stuff so... Anyway, hopefully there's still people who wanna read this fic and sorry it's been so long. The goal was def to finish this before S2 was released so here's to that. Fingers crossed we get a trailer tomorrow.

Later that night, Chase woke to a near-deafening scream.

It was from Gert, who was still unconscious, breathing heavily. Concerned, he grabbed for her hand, trying to give the girl some kind of comfort. “Gert, wake up… It’s okay, it’s just a nightmare.” He stroked his thumb in circles before running it along her knuckles, trying to be gentle with her. When Chase noticed her whimpering wasn't subsiding, he then grasped her shoulder with his other hand and gave her a light shake. “Gert! Wake up!”

Gert’s eyes shot wide open, full of fear and alertness as she turned his way. Whatever it was that she had been dreaming about, it clearly left her jittery. Chase took in the sight of the girl, her lip quivering ever so slightly as she looked over at him in the darkness. He could tell that she was anxious about him witnessing this, but he didn't want her to feel that way. She had no reason to be embarrassed. “It’s okay, Gert. It wasn't real. Whatever it was, you’re awake now and you’re okay. Just breathe.”

Chase watched as she tried to curve her lip up a little but was only slightly successful. “Right… It’s not real.“ Gert took some deep breaths before she slipped on that thinking face of hers that told him that she was doing her counting exercises in her head. If he'd known what number she was on, he would have counted along with her. To be as reassuring as he could be.  “It was just a nightmare,” she said calmly once she was finished with a shaky laugh.

Their hands were still intertwined from when Chase had reached for hers, but Gert never let go of his. She gave him the smallest smile as she whispered her thanks before settling back against her pillow. But she didn't roll over so that she wasn't facing him this time. She stayed right where she was. That is before she scooted a little closer to him, a question in her eyes. “I… Chase, would you mind…?”

Chase didn't have to ask what Gert wanted from him right then. He stretched out his arm and let her curl up to him so that her head was resting against his chest. They were essentially cuddling right now, but he knew better than to think of any romantic implications during this. What Gert needed in this moment was her friend. He could be that for her.

“You don’t have to do this that long if you don’t want to. I just don’t know if I can sleep again yet. Figure it’s worth a try.”

“I’m not gonna let go of you, Gert. Get some rest now, okay?”

It took her a few minutes to fully relax and close her eyes, but eventually the purple-haired girl did. Chase studied the much more serene look on her face briefly, proud of himself for assisting her in her time of need.

Still, he pondered whether he should make a case to the others about getting Gert’s medication soon like he had suggested to her earlier. He knew she would be furious at him for going behind her back if he did, but after seeing how jumpy the girl was without it, he wondered if doing so was for the best. Despite these thoughts swimming through hid mind, Chase finally shut his own eyes and slipped back into unconsciousness.

 He could think about this some more tomorrow.

 

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

 

It was that night that really began what became the pair’s nightly routine for the next few weeks ahead. Gert was hesitant at first, but she started coming to his room when it struck her that sleeping beside Chase was the only time she could say she'd been resting peacefully since the group ran away. She always considered finding refuge in Old Lace like she originally planned, but at the end of the day, regardless of how amazingly perceptive the creature was towards her emotions and thoughts, her dinosaur friend could only bring her so much emotional support.

She also considered going to visit Molly’s room, the same way the younger girl used to come to Gert’s growing up when she got scared, but Gert rejected this idea too. She was trying to appear strong for her adoptive sister right now. She knew if she started going to Molly, the girl would begin to worry about her and her mental state. Then the group would make a whole ordeal about getting her meds like Chase had suggested the other night. Which she knew at the end of the day was dangerous and selfish if she agreed to it. No way were they going back to Brentwood for that. She refused to be the blame for them all possibly being caught.

Besides, Gert had to admit, to herself only of course, that she was getting quite used to coming to Chase’s room and nestling alongside him. What had started out as slightly awkward and unfamiliar was becoming their new normal, and she allowed herself to find solace in it. Not to mention, no one else was going to hold her the way that Chase held her. Ever since that night, it seemed as though there was an unspoken understanding that physical touch was a boundary growing quite blurry in regards to the two of them now, but neither uttered a word on the subject. In fear of their situation getting any weirder than it already was.

Some nights their chats would turn out rather lengthy, talking about things in the past, mostly inconsequential. Other nights, they’d lay, for the most part, wordlessly, content in each other’s company. Undeniably though, they slept better because of each other.

However, a few nights after her mini nightmare episode, Gert was faced with being there for one of Chase’s own bad dreams. At first, she had just felt him slightly twitch and didn't think too much of it, but when the boy’s body did it a couple more times, she couldn't help getting curious. As she stared up at him, she noticed the sweat dripping from his forehead and his jaw clenching.

 At that moment, Chase groaned out the words softly “No, Dad” and then squeezed Gert’s hand in a death grip that took her completely off-guard that she couldn't contain the yelp that came out.

 “Hey Chase, wake up! You’re kinda hurting my hand right now!” He flinched a little in his sleep. “ _Chase_!”

Abruptly, Chase woke up, so startled that he let go of her hand. He seemed ashamed of his behavior, averting his eyes from hers. “I’m sorry, Gert. I didn't mean to do that…”

“It’s okay, Chase.” It really was. She knew that he would never hurt her if he could help it. Besides, it was no mystery what kind of dream that he had been having.

By now Gert knew to let Chase be the one to bring up his father first if he wanted to talk about him. And she was always willing to listen, she promised. The look on his face in that moment told her all she needed to know to drop the subject before it even started that night. “You were just dreaming, remember? Besides, it was just a tight hand squeeze. No harm no foul.”

“Okay.” His lips pulled together in a line, as though he was still feeling uncertain. His eyes grew wide, almost puppy-like, the way they tended to do every once in a while. "Would you sing that song of yours to me?" Chase asked.

"I don't know..." But something about the look he was giving her then convinced Gert otherwise. After a moment or two, she hummed the lullaby as he grabbed for her hand.

Meanwhile, Gert was still having her own fair share of nightmares too, but she no longer cared about waking Chase up if she needed to.  He would always simply pull her into a tighter embrace, allowing her to bury her face into his shirt and soak up his scent. She’d then rest her ear against his chest and listen to his steady heartbeat, counting along to it until she dozed off. 

The methodical nature of their living situation didn't end in the bedroom either. The group started making more regular supply runs in an effort to make the Hostel more like their home. Molly was the most excited for these trips, naturally wanting to get out of the mansion after being cooped up in it for so long and taking any opportunity she could to buy some comics for entertainment. Otherwise, she was training to test the limits of her newfound superpowers, which got boring sometimes since only Chase seemed interested in helping her in that area; and well, Molly could easily kick his ass. A fact that Gert couldn't help being amused by.

Gert noticed Nico seemed the most hesitant about this operation, at least at first, when it concerned Karolina going out. It was kinda sweet how protective the goth was of her new girlfriend. Gert couldn't help but smile when she watched how Karolina could make Nico truly melt every once in a while with a simple look. She found the pair absolutely adorable, she had to admit. She was happy for them.

Meanwhile, Alex seemed to let their relationship slide off his back for the most part, though it was clear there was some possible longing for Nico on his part still. For now though, he seemed more focused on their next move, obviously not content enough merely playing hideout. He also loved making the most trips for supplies since he was the one with this mysterious endless amount of cash that he used to pay for everything.

Which was unfortunate for Gert when she looked in the mirror one morning and realized just how much her purple hair was already starting to fade from not having dyed it in a while. She inspected her bothersome roots that were now beginning to reappear. _This is not gonna be a good look soon._

Knowing her luck, if she went with Alex, he would tell her that getting hair dye was unessential and a waste of their money. Which, honestly, was ridiculous when everyone else was always getting things they didn't need per se. After all, _yes_ , they were in hiding, but they were also still very much alive and bored. So it made sense.

_What if he told me I should just let it fade out completely back to brown? To be less recognizable when we go out?_

Her purple hair was the most notable physical trait about her. Which eventually was going to draw attention to them when they went out. Maybe it would be better for all of them if she just got rid of it.

Gert found herself bringing this topic up later that night as she entered Chase’s bedroom. “Tell me, do you like my hair?” She slid into her designated side of the bed, facing him in anticipation.

The question noticeably caught Chase by surprise. Gert couldn't blame him though. It probably did seem like such an out of the blue one, but she couldn't help being a little interested in his answer. “What do you mean…?” His eyebrows arched up, intrigued.

“It’s stupid.” Gert laughed, feeling a little silly about it now. “It’s just the first day I've noticed that my roots are starting to show from the fading. Needs a touch-up.”

“So, get some more dye for it,” Chase said, as though it were obvious what she should do to solve this problem. Which it was, but still.

“Oh, I’m sure Alex is gonna love me spending the money on something as trivial as hair dye.”

“Gert, seriously? I know you don’t care about that.” Chase chuckled with a smirk. “And I think we’re all kinda bending the rules on that front by now.” He pointed to his head shamelessly. “Why do you think my hair looks this good?”

Gert doubled over in laughter uncontrollably. “Seriously, Chase? You couldn't live without your fancy hair products? You _are_ high-maintenance.”

“Says the girl who’s wondering if she should get hair dye or not. We all have our little things, okay? Have you not seen Nico and her goth makeup every day? She stopped caring from Day 1.” His amused expression turned softer. “Besides, the purple’s your signature. I like it.”

“You do?” Gert responded, taken aback. That wasn't the answer she had expected.

“It suits you.”

“You really don’t hate it?”

“Nope.”

Gert couldn't help but beam a little before taking off her glasses and settling back on her pillow. “Oh, but…” She bit her lip. “But now that we’re wanted and all, don’t you think it’d help us more if I didn't have this huge purple target on top of my head?”

“Maybe, but do you really wanna get rid it?”

“Not really.”

“Then keep it.”

It wasn't as if Chase’s approval of her hair was necessary to her or anything, but it was kind of flattering to know that he actually liked it. “Well, I guess on the next supply run I’ll get some then.” And with that, the room fell quiet.

Silences started to come more naturally between the pair. At some point, the two of them began to understand there was no need to fill it up at all times. The first few nights Gert’s gut reaction to these gaps were to ramble as she was known to do. And surprisingly, Chase would listen to her. Just let her go on and on until even she was sick of her own voice, or she would fall asleep.

Gert kept expecting Chase to tell her that he wanted her to stop paying the nightly visits to his room, that he had grown tired of her company, but he never did. Not once.

As usual, the voice in Gert’s head told her not to read into this as anything more than a friendship being rebuilt over time. And maybe that was for the best. Sure, things could never fully go back to the way they were before the fallout, but then perhaps, just maybe they could be better than that.

_I hope so._

 

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

 

Chase woke up that next day, feeling refreshed and content. As his eyes adjusted, they took in the sight of a still sleeping Gert, whose arm was wrapped around him in a way so that her hand was resting on the crook of his neck. Meanwhile, her head was perched on his chest. He also took in the fact that her leg was slightly draped over his.

For a second, Chase thought he was still dreaming. That’s how it always was when he woke up and she was there in his arms. He couldn't help the smile that appeared on his face, feeling as though there was no way it could truly convey the happiness and lightness he was feeling in that moment. It still took him by surprise how comfortable it all felt, how right it seemed, to have her there in his embrace. For that fleeting moment, Chase allowed himself to enjoy the warmth of Gert’s body against his and…

_Uh oh._

How this had never occurred before this very morning, considering the fact that Gert had been sleeping in his room every night for just a little over a month now, Chase had no idea. All he knew was that he currently had a small problem and needed to take care of it. _Now_.

 _Well, not_ that _small truthfully… Okay, snap out of it, Stein! Focus!_

Chase refused to let Gert become aware of his situation. He could not let her wake up to this. It would ruin everything. She would most likely be disgusted and never wanna speak to him ever again. Which would suck completely.

The idea of Gert catching him like this was humiliating to think about. Yes, it was a fact that guys got hard-ons. It was a basic part of human biology. He knew that she would understand that, but… _still_. This thing they had going on felt so fresh that a little slip-up like this seemed like a potential nip in the bud to it all. 

But then how could Chase have prevented it from happening? And well, he had been dreaming about Gert before he woke up. He’d been doing that a lot lately.

So, it was only natural that Chase would find himself this morning with a growing erection. But God, the throbbing was getting to be too much for him in that moment. The need for release was evident.

Chase felt the movement he had been dreading. It was Gert. She was on the verge of waking up and there really seemed to be only two solutions for him right now. Neither were ideal, but he had to decide quick. So, he pulled away from her swiftly right as she was beginning to open her eyes and rolled away from her, tugging the covers as he did so to be positive that his bulge would stay concealed.

Having done all this in a hurry left Chase panting slightly, which he knew would make Gert suspicious, so he tried to steady his breathing. Without having to look at her, he could tell that she was fully awake by now. Hopefully she hadn't been aware of everything before consciousness.

“Chase? Um, you’re awake, right?”

“Mm-hmm.” Chase was trying to think of anything to will his boner away before he would have to turn in her direction but was coming up empty since he couldn't handle the problem how he really needed to. What could he possibly do that wouldn't be totally obvious? Nothing.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

There was a lapse of silence, but something about this one felt completely off. Praying that she wouldn't notice his current state, Chase dared to face Gert slightly. The watchful look in her eyes made it clear that she was studying him. “Sorry that I fell asleep on you again.” Her nonchalant tone was strained. It was their shared joke every morning by now, but this time her voice sounded wounded. As if she really meant it.

_Oh. Of course, she knew you pulled away from her. Shit._

“It’s okay, Gert. Remember?” Chase really didn't want Gert going back to thinking he was bothered by her being there, but there was no winning this conversation if that was the case. He really didn't know if he could tell her the embarrassing truth right now.

“Right.” A flash of something appeared in her eyes momentarily. Was it hurt? “Um… well, time for us to get up, I guess?”

“Okay.”

It was the first morning in a while that had been awkward for the two of them. They had grown so comfortable in their bubble that something like this happening had never really come to his mind. He hoped that he hadn't ruined everything by pulling away, but then he was certain if he hadn't turned from her, her discovery would have been worse. He made the right the call, he told himself.

Still, neither of them had moved from their spots yet. Their eyes locked, and for one moment Chase thought he saw the flicker of something else in her eyes. Had it been longing? For him? He hoped it was.

“Chase, if this is… getting too weird for you, we can-“

“It’s not. Really.”

Gert closed her eyes as she licked her lips, almost as if she was hesitant to get the words out. “I just, I get it… if it is, you know? It’s weird for me too, and-“

“It is?” Chase interrupted, without really thinking.

“Sure.” She lowered her eyes for a second before continuing, “I mean, what _are_ we doing?” She laughed, impassively. “Do _you_ even know?”

“I…”

“Right.” Gert sat up slowly and smoothed her shirt out before grabbing her glasses. “Maybe… we should stop doing this. Start sleeping on our own again. In separate rooms. Different beds.”

“Gert-“

“It might be good for us.” She started shifting from her spot, clearly on the verge of making her getaway. Once on her feet, Gert slightly wavered as she spoke. As if her feet didn't want her to move from where she was standing. “For me.” And with that, she made her way to the door. “See you later.”

Chase felt an ache in his heart as he watched her go. He wanted to tell her to come back, to tell her that he wanted her. All of her. That waking up next to her every morning brought him nothing but pure joy. But something stopped him.

He didn't want to scare Gert off. She was just as confused as he was about this thing they had going on. Yet the more he thought about it, the more he felt he was right about the looks she had been giving him just now. Heartache and longing. Two things Chase knew pretty well by now because it’s what he was currently feeling.

But Gert had never voiced these emotions to him so what right did he have to assume that was how _she_ was feeling? Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he was just seeing what he wanted to. Wouldn't be the first time for him. He was always doing it.

After Gert had told him that night at the dance that them having sex hadn't been important, that it was just a one-time thing, Chase really never let himself consider that she thought anything different than that. Of course, he had hoped so. All the time. But he never truly believed that she could want to be with him.

And yet now, he couldn't help but wonder about the possibility of that. And if so, how he should go about handling it. Because if anything, this morning showed Chase just how difficult it was getting to simply be her friend now.

He wanted more than that. Much more. If only he could be sure that she felt the same way.

 

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

 

Later that day, Gert was lounging in the living room with a copy of _A Room of One's Own,_ lazily petting Old Lace as she did so, trying hard to focus on the feminist prose of Virginia Woolf. Until Alex came in from the other room to call a meeting and asked everyone to gather around in a circle. “So… Who’s up for a supply run with me today?”

Before Gert could even get the word out, two voices called out “Me!” It was Molly… and _Chase_?

_Huh? He knew I was planning to get my hair dye today. Why would he just…?_

Gert was aware that she was gawking like an idiot at him, but she didn't care. Had he just completely forgotten their conversation the night before? Or did he not care? Yes, hair dye was a trivial thing, but it was also the fact that he totally jumped at the chance to get out of there. Of all days. After their awkward conversation.

She knew that it had been her who walked out on him that morning, but that didn't mean she wanted him to start steering clear of her completely now. So, _yeah_ , she had put a possible stop to their nightly routine, but they were still friends. Didn't he know that?

Gert watched the trio make their way out of the tunnel and sighed, closing her book shut. Frustrated, she made her way to the kitchen to get a snack. She opened one of the cabinets and settled on a granola bar, vehemently taking a bite. When she shut the cabinet door, she saw both Nico and Karolina standing in the entryway, looking at her expectantly.

 “What?” Gert asked cautiously, chewing slowly.

Nico’s mouth quirked up into a faint smirk as she stepped into the room and made her way to the fridge. “Oh, nothing. We were just amused by your little mood swing after they left, that’s all.” She cleared her throat. “Or should I say when _he_ left.” Gert noticed her share a wink with Karolina, who then entered the kitchen as well.

“What? No. I’d just been planning to go on the next run for hair dye, which Chase knew about, so I was disappointed I didn't get to go. That's all.” Gert held up a strand of her hair. “My roots are coming in. See?”

“Still,” Karolina stated. “You were totally looking at Chase the whole time and um, hate to break it to you, Gert, we all know it wasn't just because you were upset he went.”

“So much for being subtle with your feelings,” Nico snorted.

“You guys are so wrong-“

“Gert,” Karolina said, “come on.”

Gert understood it was useless to deny anything regarding Chase with the blonde since she did know about her feelings for him to an extent. While Gert may not have ever actually vocalized said feelings, Karolina was no idiot. Her near irrational jealousy of Chase’s little crush on Karolina had to have been more than enough proof for the girl to be aware of just how much Gert liked him.

This silent understanding between them is what convinced Gert to open up about the situation between her and Chase to the couple. It also helped that she was talking to the only two people in the group that already knew about the hookup, so there was thankfully no real need to delve into that part.

Once Gert was done rambling about everything, it was Nico who spoke first. "Okay, so you two like each other,” she said, matter-of-factly, “and this whole sleeping arrangement you guys have got going on is making things weird because you won't admit it."

"I kinda think he's getting sick of me actually."

"Uh… Gert, he lets you sleep in his bed every night and literally holds you in his arms. I don't think that’s the case here at all."

"But he pushed away from me this morning, remember! So, unless he’s just working up the nerve because he only has one option in this place-"

"Gert,” Karolina interjected, “you kinda butted into my business about my sexuality, so now I'm gonna butt into your love life." She paused, considering her words. "I can tell that he likes you. You know how? Because he looks at you now twice as much as he ever did at me when he was showing an interest in me, okay? I don't think he truly liked me. Not the way he does you."

"You can't know that-"

Karolina’s eyebrows raised. "You do realize I talk to him sometimes, right?"

"She's not always with me, you know,” Nico scoffed with an eye-roll. “We're not completely co-dependent all of a sudden."

Gert sighed, annoyed at how she was suddenly getting lectured by the pair. "What's your point?"

“My point _is_ ,” Karolina continued, "that he’s always asking us girls questions about you. Molly included. _All the time_."

"He does? Like, what?"

"Well, for one, whether you talk to us about him or not."

"He does not."

"Does too,” Nico exclaimed.

"I don't believe that."

"You should. He told me to my face that he likes you, remember? I swear.” Nico glanced in Karolina’s direction, and if Gert wasn't mistaken, it seemed as though they were having a silent conversation of their own. After a moment or two, Nico nodded with a smirk.  “You know, I'm gonna go, uh, do something really quickly. Right now." She left the room, barely suppressing a laugh.

_What the hell, Nico?_

Gert fidgeted in her spot, uncertain if she wanted to continue this discussion or not. "Why do you guys care so much?"

Karolina regarded her with a knowing smile. "Because it's so painfully obvious, and it’s not like there's not much else to focus on in this place."

"You have Nico though,” Gert pointed out.

"I do.” Karolina’s grin grew wider without shame. “And I'm glad. Because she kinda means a lot to me. And if I hadn't gone for it that night at the dance, it probably never would have happened."

"Yeah, I get what you mean."

"Look, if I made it happen, so can you."

Gert forced a smile. "I already did, remember? And, honestly? Maybe it's for the best. Chase hasn't tried to change anything so clearly he’s not interested in me beyond possibly-the-end-of-the-world sex. _Shocker_."

"Please, Gert.” Karolina reached out to rest her hand on Gert’s arm. “Just try and see. You might be surprised." Her bit lip made it appear as though she wanted to say more, but she didn't.

Gert wanted to believe in her optimism. Despite not being in favor of this conversation initially, she was able to recognize Karolina and Nico’s good intentions with it. They simply believed that their friends belonged together and were being complete idiots about it.

_Maybe we are. If Chase is actually interested in me, that is._

That seemed the hardest thing to wrap her head around apparently. But here were the two people who knew just how intimate she and Chase had gotten, telling her that he liked her and should give telling him how she felt a shot.

"Maybe,” Gert replied, still deep in thought. “Maybe I'll bring it up to him later."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, hopefully you enjoyed that. It did feel a little like filler imo but then the next chapter is the last one for certain so I had to get to it somehow. Hope you enjoyed the convo with Deanuro because it was my favorite part of this chap and one of the first things of dialogue I ever wrote for this fic. Anyway, prepare for a rollercoaster of emotions in the next chapter! Which I will have up before S2 is released no matter what I promise.


	6. Can't Fight It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gert and Chase have a lot of things they still need to tell each other and later that night everything comes out. Prepare for some major angst but there is payoff I promise. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, look who decided to post this last chapter right after she just updated the day before. I couldn't help it. lol The full trailer's either coming later today or at least very soon since we're officially a month away until S2!! Yay! Anyway, this story turned out longer than originally planned and took longer to finish than I meant to, but here it is. The last chapter And hopefully was worth the wait?? (It's also a long one so strap in!)
> 
> I'm ngl angst is where I feel most comfortable with my writing so I hope I didn't go too overboard. lol I just feel like I could see where Gert has some fear from getting with Chase, despite having feelings for him so long. And well, pining Chase comes through with the swoonworthy to win her over. ;)

It was a few hours later when Gert looked up from her book and heard Chase and the others coming back from their supply run. Which made her curious since a typical one took about an hour max. _Something must have come up._ Though if the trio had run into any trouble, they certainly weren't showing it. “We’re back,” Chase exclaimed, holding up bags as he made his way into the Hostel.

Gert pursed her lips together as she thought of her conversation with Karolina and Nico earlier. She did want to talk to Chase about things, but not now. Definitely not an ideal time in front of the others. Besides, she was still a little annoyed at him for taking her turn to go on a run. “We can _all_ see that, Chase.”

Chase blinked at her, almost as if she’d taken the wind out of his sails a little for a second, but soon he recovered and grinned at her cheerfully. “I know you think I forgot,” he paused, reaching his hand in one of the bags. “But I didn't.” He came back out with a box with a girl with purple hair on the front. “I had some help from Molly so I knew what kinda dye you used.”

_Okay, he did good. He’s forgiven._

Gert’s lips quirked up into a smile before biting it back. “Thanks.”

“You won’t believe what Chase got me!” Molly shouted happily. She walked over to the two, holding up a pink portable stereo. “We can finally have some music in this place!”

Chase actually appeared a little bashful now as his eyes dropped for a second. “I just know Gert said you missed your dancing and well, why not, right?” He glanced in Gert’s direction, as if he wanted to know if she approved of this impulsive buy or not. She did.  It was sweet. “Since we’re really staying here and all. Might as well as have some fun while we are. And Molly really has been patient. Probably help make her training more fun too.”

“I’m surprised Alex let you,” Gert joked.

Alex strode on towards the rest of the group with a bag of his own. “Hey, I’m not that much of a killjoy. It’s not like our parents can hack into that thing. _Besides_ , I like music, too,” he added as he went into the kitchen.

“Thank you, Chase!” Molly called as she ran enthusiastically with the stereo towards the direction of the stairs to their rooms, clearly ready to put the appliance to good use.

“You totally just made her day,” Gert laughed, taking a step forward. “That was really nice of you, Chase.”

Chase shrugged noncommittally, as though this wasn't something out of the ordinary. “It’s like I said, why not, right?”

“Yeah.” Gert bit her lip, wishing she had more to say. Usually she did but not now.

“So, what did you girls get up to while we were gone?”

_Talked about you._

“Um, watched a movie in the theater. Karolina fell asleep on Nico’s shoulder in the middle of it. And then I started to feel like a third wheel so I left them.” They both laughed at that as Gert thought of something. “So… what took you guys so long anyway? Making trips outside of downtown L.A. now or what?”

Chase shifted in his spot a little with his eyes lowered. “Something like that,” he murmured with a nervous laugh as he dropped the shopping bags on the closest counter.

_What could that possibly mean?_

“Huh?”

Chase turned his back to her as he slipped off his backpack and unzipped it. “We made another trip first.” He slowly pulled his hand back out, hiding whatever was cupped in his hand out of her view as he turned to face her. “Hope you won’t be mad. I may have said something to the others about it a few weeks ago, and after this morning, I told them it might be a good idea after all. If you really don’t wanna sleep in my room anymore, that is.”

“Chase, what are you- Wait…” She gasped, realizing what the boy was implying. “Did you really…?”

Stretching his hand forward, Chase held up a single orange bottle of pills. Her medication. “Surprise.”

Seriously? That’s all he had to say?

“Chase, how in the hell did you guys manage to…?”

Clearly, this had been planned out. Thoroughly, Gert realized. She wanted to be mad at him. After all, she had specifically told Chase not to go to the trouble of getting them for her, and yet, in that moment, she was overcome with this surge of gratitude towards him. If she was being honest with herself, she felt the sudden urge to kiss him.

But Gert hadn't completely lost all self-control so she didn't.

“So, you’re not mad at me?” Chase asked her, tentatively. She knew he expected her to blow up at him for this, and while she felt the typical impulse to say something snarky, Gert resisted it this time.

“No.”

Because, truthfully, she wasn't and he deserved to know that.

Chase smiled at her, rather visibly relieved. “Good.” He extended his hand out farther to give the bottle to her, which she accepted, with their fingers briefly brushing against each other in the process. “I wanted to get them to you sooner, but we had to plan it just right and I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“So… everyone was in on it?”

“Yeah, we were gonna have Nico come along so she could get her staff back too, but figured we’d save that for another day. Didn't want to take any chances by being in Brentwood too long. Besides, that’ll be the trickier thing to get with all the security at the Minuro's.” He grimaced with a sigh. “Also, we had to ditch the van.”

“You did?” Gert stared at the bottle of pills in her hand, gripping it tightly. “You know, these’ll only last for so long and soon I’ll be back to being totally on edge again…” She shook her head, trying to will the negativity away for a moment. “But thanks, Chase. Really.”

“No problem, Gert.”

The two of them stood there in silence for a beat or so, neither knowing what they should say or do next. Gert looked in the direction of their window to the outside world and noticed that it had to late enough for dinner at least. “I wonder if Alex is making something, or I’ll have to tonight.” She glanced back at Chase. “Think we should go see?”

“Sure.”

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

Later that night, when Gert headed to bed, she sat there for a solid 15 minutes holding the bottle in her hand as she considered taking a pill. After all, everyone had taken that huge risk for her. She wondered just how long it took for them to convince Alex to go along with it. 

And yet, as she started to put the pill to her lips, Gert frowned. She was only just beginning to adjust without them so it felt as though she was taking a step backwards if she took it. But then, this was her first night since they’d come to the Hostel not sleeping in the same room as Chase, and Gert knew she needed something to calm her anxiety.

Gert then let her thoughts circle back to everything she had discussed with Karolina and Nico earlier that day. She _did_ need to talk to Chase. She knew that.

Making a decision, Gert got out of her bed and set her bottle of meds on her dresser before heading out into the hallway. She was reminded of that first night she came to his room, full of nerves. She was feeling that way again tonight, but nothing stopped her this time from using their secret knock as she tapped on Chase’s door. This was part of their nightly routine.

When Chase opened the door, Gert watched as pure shock crossed his face, his mouth dropping open slightly. “Gert…? Why are you…” He paused, composing himself a bit. “I, uh, thought you didn't want to do this anymore?” He shook his head with a sheepish smile. “Not that… I mind, of course. I don’t mind.”

Gert grew more confident about coming to see him in that moment. She gave a shrug. “I changed my mind.” And with that, she slipped past him into the room.

At first, it started off like one of their average evening chats and the mood was light. Gert was glad she convinced herself to come to see him tonight. She couldn't help enjoying their easy banter. That is, until Gert’s favorite topic came up and she couldn't resist giving Chase a slight hard time.

“Oh, come on, you didn't even support my _Undermining the Patriarchy_ club-”

“Hey now, I support some of your ideas, Gert. I mean it.” Chase’s face grew a little more thoughtful as he continued. “If things had been different, I would joined it for you. But-“

Gert’s smile faltered a little but didn't fall away completely. “Right, I know. You were saving face for your Lacrosse Douchebag rep, got it.”

“Gert…”

“Chase, I’m joking.” She snorted with a smile. “Not that it matters anyway now, right? Besides, it stopped being my club before this whole thing escalated anyway. My members overthrew me, which I gotta admit was quite the power play."

Chase gave a stifled chuckle. “Nice.”

“Social justice is tricky business, apparently.”

“Which I support by the way,” Chase interjected. “Maybe not everything you say, but really just because I don't always understand what you’re talking about...”

“Like what?” Gert squinted her eyes at him, curiously.

Chase seemed to realize the rather big hole that he had dug himself into. He wagged his finger at her. “Oh no... That's a dangerous path. I'm not going there with you. You’ll take back saying I’m not an idiot I bet.”

“So much for having opinions.” Gert stuck her tongue at him teasingly. “Okay, fraidy-cat, new subject then."

“What do you want to talk about?”

For Gert, this question had many different ways it could go depending on how she answered him. She wanted to tell him that she’d come to his room, not just because she couldn't sleep without him, but because she didn't want to. She wanted Chase to know how she felt about him. But the self-sabotaging, anxiety-filled part of her stopped herself from doing just that. So, she asked something else that seemed safer.

“So, you really never miss it?” Gert saw his eyebrows scrunch together as if to say ‘ _What?_ ’ “Lacrosse, I mean.”

“Haven’t we been over this already? Besides, I quit the team after the fight, remember?”

“No, I just… you have to miss _something_ about home, right? And that was pretty much your life. Didn't you love it?”

“At one point.” He paused, scowling a little in thought. “I think sometimes that was more about my dad. He hated it and it made me stronger. The more I got into it, the less he would hit. Soon it stopped altogether.”

“Oh…” Gert hadn't considered his father coming up in the discussion and tried to joke to change its direction back to lightness. “That said, being a jock star had to be quite the ego boost.”

“Ha.”

“Girls falling at your feet…” Gert mumbled, chewing her lip as she trailed off.

Chase turned his head sharply at her with eyebrows arched so tight that she winced. “Just _how_ many girls do you think I've been with exactly, Gert?”

_Uh oh._

“Um… I don’t know.” Gert felt her face heating up from the evident blush that took over her face. _Backtrack, girl! Fast!_ “I just assumed… I mean, there _was_ Eiffel-“

Chase laughed so hard for almost a good solid minute as he shook his head, trying to catch his breath.

“Uh, okay…” Gert said, annoyed by this amused response. What was so goddamn funny?  _Hadn't_ he been into Eiffel, or had she imagined that part?

“You thought-“ Chase smirked at her with utter disbelief. “Eiffel? I mean, I get it.” He nodded, as he coughed back his laughter. “I get why you’d say that. She was definitely into me. I can't really say the same on my part though.”

“I swore you were jealous of her going to the dance with Brandon for a second...”

Chase shook his head. “That was more me being disappointed, knowing what Brandon was like and all, you know?”

“Oh. But I just always thought-”

“Truth is, there really wasn't anything there. Ever. One time she was drunk at a party and asked me if I wanted to make out with her and I told her I wasn't interested,” he recalled. “And that’s all there ever was. Not that she ever got the hint though. She’s persistent that one. Always was.”

“Really?” Gert knew that, truthfully, it was none of her business, but she couldn't help the relief flooding through her right now. Not that it mattered. Eiffel was beyond out of the picture by now, but to her, it did say something about Chase that he hadn't been interested in the overly shallow girl after all. Gert was dumbfounded by this information. She had always figured that he had been into Eiffel and had begrudgingly accepted this over the years.

“Eiffel’s a pretty girl and all, but I could never actually go there. She’s not my type. Too superficial. And well, I think you summed it up pretty well that day you told her off.” _We'll take five, you hateful bitch._

“Oh.” Gert was tempted to ask just who his type really was, as in if she were, but no way she could do that. She could be bold, but not _that_ bold. Not until she knew for sure the extent of how he felt about her at least. She went another route. “I guess you prefer blondes, anyway.”

Chase seemed to register the reference instantly, frowning. He ran his hand through his hair as though he were feeling guilty. “That was a mistake.”

“Hmm, you think?” Gert giggled, good-naturedly. It was easy to joke about it now since there was nothing to be jealous of concerning the two, at least on Karolina’s end.

“I never should have assumed Karolina would be into me.” Chase let out a self-deprecating chuckle. “Now _that_ was some heteronormative bullshit.”

“Aww, so you _do_ know what that word means,” Gert quipped back, unable to resist the little jib.

“Funny.” His lips pulled together into a pout, which was absolutely adorable she had to admit. “But seriously, I feel like I missed all the signs.”

“You totally did.” A laugh escaped her. She couldn't help it.

Chase genuinely looked confused as he gaped at her. “You’re saying you knew all along? How come everyone could tell but me?”

“Because you were blind,” Gert said, bluntly. She saw he was still frowning, taking this to mean that maybe Chase was still bothered that he didn't have a chance with Karolina after all. A hint of jealousy struck her, but the friend in her just felt a little bad and tried to soften the blow. “But that said, I have impeccable gaydar. I could tell that night of the gala. There was some tension between them at Karolina’s place when Molly and I got there.”

“And then I just had to go and kiss her that night…” Chase buried his face in his palm and shook his head. “I’m an idiot.”

Gert lowered her eyes to look at her hands, biting her lip so hard that it hurt. She couldn't stand this awkwardness. “Yeah,” she finally let out.

“Never should have done it.”

“D-don’t beat yourself up over it that much. It was an honest mistake.”

“I just feel like I should have known, you know? Paid more attention. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Gert shrugged, dismissively. “Yeah, well, Karolina _is_ beautiful, so…” she muttered.

“And _way_ too nice,” he added. “She could have yelled at me that night for doing it but didn't.”

“I think she didn't want to hurt your feelings.”

“I appreciate it.” He pondered over something, seeming to realize something. “God, I really was blind. She never did actually give me a sign that she was interested in me. Not once. Though… she did seem a little flirty right before the whole roof thing, but maybe I just was seeing what I wanted to. Been known to do that before.”

“Oh,when I was talking to her?” Gert gulped, trying to contain herself. “Um, that wasn't… She was just a little upset when I pointed out her crush on Nico and I think she just wanted to get a rise out of me, so… sorry?” She nervously laughed.

“Oh.” A beat. “Wait, Gert, does that mean-“

“Mean what?”

“Well, that you _do_ have f-”

_Oh God. We’re about to have this conversation. I’m not ready for this conversation yet._

“Chase, we don’t have to-“

“Gert, can we _please_ just talk about that night for once?” Chase’s eyes had an urgent expression in them that took her off-guard.

“What about it?” she choked out, looking away from him again. _Kill me now._ “Thought we decided it was a one-time thing that we didn't discuss.”

“So, we just never talk about it? Act like it never happened?” He was looking rather indignant now with his voice rising. “Because it _did._ ”

“I thought that’s how you wanted it. Because you sure didn't say otherwise later that night.” Gert noticed Chase flinch at that last sentence.

_Good. Serves him right for getting mad at me right now._

Still, Chase’s face softened. In a whisper, he said, “Gert, I like you.”

Gert was positive she had just lost her damn mind and was hearing things. “What?”

“I do.” He stared at her in a way that overwhelmed her. She couldn't describe it, but it made her almost believe the words that he was saying to her right now. “I've been wanting to saying it for a little while now actually.”

“Right,” Gert retorted, making herself come back to her senses. For some reason, she couldn't let herself believe this. “Chase, tell me, would you even be saying that if Karolina were still a choice?”

“What?” She had to give Chase credit. He seemed almost outraged at what she was implying. “I-“

“What am I supposed to think, Chase?” she asked, lowering her voice to a whisper. She didn't really want to yell at him, but her insecurities were coming to the surface. “Look at me. I’m no rainbow glowing Karolina. I’m not dumb, okay?” Gert hated the way her voice helplessly trembled on the last word.

“Gert…” He licked his lips, seeming as though he wanted to choose his words wisely right now. “Look, Karolina’s just always been so nice to me. And you know, she’s probably the kinda girl I always saw myself being with.” _Ouch._ “But clearly, that’s not supposed to happen. And honestly? I’m _glad_.” His mouth curved upward. “I’m happy for her and Nico. I’m not even disappointed that she wasn't into me. Really. Even if she was, we’re _way_ better off as friends. I doubt she could stand me for that long anyway.” Chase’s eyes lit up as they locked with hers. “Besides, I’m into _you,_ Gert _._ Can’t you see that?”

It could have been so easy. Here was this boy that Gert had known practically her whole life and, aside from their falling out the last couple of years, had always been there. She had loved him for longer than she could pinpoint. He was telling her everything she’d always wanted to hear. All she had to do was tell him that she reciprocated those feelings. And yet, as she processed all this, more thoughts gnawed at her brain that gave her pause. She wanted to tell him the truth. She wanted to, but…

“Who’s to say that in six months from now, let alone one, that you won’t get sick of me. We’re on the run, and we still don’t know what we’re doing. How long it’s gonna be like this-“

“I won’t get sick of you,” Chase cut her off.

“You say that now, but trust me, you will.”

“No, I won’t,” he said, definitively.

“Chase, you blew me off for _two_ years,” Gert pointed out.

“What? We _all_ lost touch, Gert.”

“Yeah, but _you_ were the one who pulled away from _me_ first. I still tried to stay close. When you traded our friendship for your douchebag lacrosse buddies, _that's_ when my attitude changed. I may have never thought you were an idiot, but you _did_ start acting like one."

"Gert, I admitted that whole life was bullshit already, remember? If I could, I'd take it all back, but-"

"Forget it."

"Gert, you were my best friend, okay?"

“What?”

Chase’s eyes almost looked watery. “I mean it. You guys are the only real friends I’ve ever had.”

“Then why did you pull away from us so easily? From me?” Gert’s tone softened, despite the accusation. She truly wanted to know.

“I don't know, okay? I was so mad at Alex for not showing up at the funeral. It just felt like he didn't care that we lost Amy. And if he didn't care about the rest of us, I just thought… why should I care then?”

“That is a lousy excuse,” Gert noted, skeptical.

“I _know_ it is.” Chase sighed deeply. “Gert, what do you want me to say? I thought we were moving past all this. There's so much other bullshit we're dealing with right now that, _really_ , shouldn't we be?”

“Maybe.” Gert knew he was right, but it also didn't change how she was feeling right now. “But I can’t.” She suddenly couldn't stand to be in this room anymore. Why had she even come in here? She was ruining everything between them, she knew it. This is why they had always tiptoed around the real stuff before. There was no way to without someone getting upset. “I should have stayed in my room tonight. Doing this just made things weirder.” She rushed out of the room so fast that she barely caught him calling her name as she shut the door behind her.

_What the hell is wrong with you?_

She wished she knew.

 

 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

Chase lost track of how long he let himself pace around his room, sulking over everything Gert had said to him earlier and debating whether to go to her. She had made her points about not wanting to be together and he had to admit they were fair. But that also didn't stop him noticing that Gert never outright told him that she didn't have feelings for him. In fact, her fears almost all but confirmed that she _did_. Why else would she be so scared?

_I need to know if that’s true._

Nervous but certainly determined, Chase made his way for Gert’s room. He knocked lightly a couple times on her door and waited to see if she would open it for him. She did.

“Chase, what are you doing-?” Gert asked as she rubbed at her eyes, sans glasses, seemingly annoyed.

“I need to talk to you,” Chase cut her off, slipping in past her so that he was in the room with her. “I can’t stop thinking about what you said, and I just want to explain-“

Gert shook her head as she closed the door and continued to face its direction instead of him. “Chase, you don’t have to-“

“I do!” Chase sighed impatiently before continuing. “Please, Gert?” he asked, gently. She turned around slowly as she allowed her eyes to meet his. Okay. They were getting somewhere now. “Look, the truth is that after Amy died, everything else starting changing, you know? You’re right. Blaming Alex was a lazy excuse, but really, him not showing up pissed me off so bad that I couldn't talk to him after. And Nico was drowning in her grief and I didn't know how to be there for her. None of us did.”

Chase watched as he saw recognition grew in Gert’s eyes. It was the truth. Nico had understandably been the one to pull away from all of them first, not Chase. Still, it didn't excuse any of them not trying harder to be there for her. And, in the end, gradually pulling away from each other as well. Chase himself the most.

Which is something Gert pointed out. “So, why _did_ you pull away from the rest of us? I was still around. Molly too.”

Chase found himself at a loss of what answer to give her here. He thought back to those early days and remembered how Gert had tried to still be friends with him. She would always say hey to him at school, and for a little while, he would respond with a silent nod of acknowledgement as they passed. Sometimes she would text him after school and he would answer a few times with the conversation dying before it even really got started. He hadn't known what to say to her anymore.

As weeks went by, Chase decided to dive into his lacrosse more seriously with things being tense as ever at his house. And with that, over time, came new friends and popularity.

He recalled the first time he had openly ignored Gert at school. She'd come up to him while he’d been in the middle of barely listening to a conversation between Brandon & Lucas during lunch. “Chase, hey, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to h-“

“Hey loser, we were talking here,“ Brandon cut her off, earning a laugh and fist bump from Lucas. “Go find yourself a friend. If you can.”

Gert’s mouth opened slightly and Chase thought he possibly saw tears welling up in her eyes behind her glasses. She bit her lip as she glanced in Chase’s direction, which made him lower his gaze to his lap. He couldn't bring himself to look at her. She stood there for a few seconds more, pulling at her long brown hair, before dismissing herself. “ _Fine_. Maybe another time.”

Chase had wanted to say something, but his mouth refused to speak. “Can you believe her?” Brandon jeered before going back to whatever stupid topic that he started before Gert’s arrival.

In truth, it was no wonder Gert had trust issues when it came to him. She had every right to have felt ignored. She had been. Regardless if he had, in his own words, always seen her this whole time. He should have shown it more. Way more.

Still, he had to try to explain. “I didn't always ignore you,” Chase said weakly, knowing that this wasn't going to fly over.

“Right,” Gert scoffed, “Just when it was convenient for you, you mean.”

It was pointless to deny this fact so Chase did the only thing he could do. He told the truth. “I am so sorry, okay? I should have never pulled away from you, Gert. You deserved better than that. You did.”

Chase felt a wave of triumph as Gert’s lips curved up slightly. “I guess I didn't always make it easy after a while. I’ve certainly thrown my fair share of insults at you these last two years.”

“You had some pretty good reasons to,” he pointed out.

“I still shouldn't have yelled at you the way I did tonight. I know you’re not like that anymore. Things are different now.” She looked around her surroundings with a sullen expression. “ _Way_ different.”

“I get why you did it though.” Chase dared to take a step closer to her. Just to test the waters. “But Gert, about what I said before, about us, I… I meant it.”

Gert frowned, her eyes peering up at him with all sorts of uncertainty flickering within them. He wished that he could make all her worrying go away and make her see there was no reason to doubt his feelings. But he also knew Gert couldn't help it. It was part of who she was to second guess things and imagine the worst-case scenario. Toss in his treatment of her the last couple years, it made perfect sense if she was scared.

“Why…” She licked her lips before biting on her bottom one. “Why didn't you say any of that when I said it was a one-time thing… if that’s how you really felt?”

 “Gert, I didn't know what to say. But I do know if you’d been using your eyes that night, I can bet mine were saying all that needed to be said.”

“Oh?” Chase noticed she still looked anxious, but her curiosity was winning now as she stared up at him.

“Look, if you had brought it up later after all the craziness, I… I know I would have reacted differently.”

“How so?”

Chase took another step forward, feeling a little more confident this time. “First, I would have said that what happened between us had been amazing.”

Gert’s eyes darted downwards as she blushed. Her voice cracked slightly as she whispered, “Oh Chase, you don’t have to s-“

“It was,” Chase said firmly. He couldn't help but pause as he considered the possibility that it hadn't been the same for her. “Right?” he asked with a gulp.

_Please let her feel the same way about it._

“It was.” _Oh, thank God._

"And possibly the best night of my life, despite what happened with our parents later," Chase continued, feeling brave enough to admit all this now.

"Really?"

"I mean it." Chase made it so he was standing merely inches from Gert now. He felt as though he was being pulled towards her. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since."

 "You haven't?" Gert asked breathlessly, her face brightening up. He could tell she was finally letting herself process his words.

“Gert, please tell me it meant something to you, too.”

Chase was rewarded with a smile from her. “It did.”

“Oh, thank God.” Chase couldn't help the laugh that escaped his lips. Gert joined in. “So… if I kissed you right now would that be too cliché and heteronormative for you?”

“Are you just gonna start using that word from now on thinking that it’s going to impress me?” Gert smirked as she took her own step forward. All Chase needed to do now was bend down and he would be kissing her, but he hovered ever so slightly, taking both her and this moment all in.

“Is it working?” he whispered.

“Maybe a little.” Gert grinned as she crossed her arms. “So… are you gonna kiss me or not, Stein?”

Chase didn’t need to be asked twice, lowering his lips to hers. He kissed Gert with all of the passion and desire he had felt building up during all these weeks with her. She responded eagerly, throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him so that his body was more tightly against hers. A moan escaped his throat. It didn't take too long for things to start getting heated and soon he couldn't get enough of her.

So much was happening all at once. Before he knew it, the two of them were getting closer to the bed as clothes were being pulled at.

_Wow. We’re really doing this again._

“Gert, wait, you don't wanna go slow and...?” Chase needed to be sure that Gert truly wanted this. He didn't regret what had happened Homecoming Night, but he also knew that they had rushed through everything. No wonder there’d been doubt whether it had just been sex last time.

But then as Gert looked up at him, Chase knew that this was more than that. And with every fiber of his being, he hoped she could tell that too.

“No,” she answered, slightly panting from all the kissing. Her right hand slid from its spot at his neck to stroke the hairs at the nape of it. God, it felt so good. “Do you?”

“Honestly, no.” Gert’s smile widened which made Chase’s heart soar. Okay, this was _definitely_ happening now.

“Maybe.... after we could try that, though.”

Chase couldn't help the question that he had been dying to ask her from coming out just then. “So, does that mean you really wanna be together, Gert?”

“Yes.”

“But I thought you said dating was _so_ -“

“If the word ‘heteronormative’ comes out of your mouth one more time, I might scream,” Gert snapped. She then seemed confused at why Chase hadn't stopped smiling like an idiot. “What?”

“You’re cute.” He planted a soft kiss on her jaw. Gert then turned her head, and that was it; they were making out again.

It was Gert who tugged at the hem of his t-shirt first, and Chase obliged by pulling it over his head with her assistance. Gert followed suit with her own shirt and Chase’s breath got caught in his throat.

She wasn't wearing a bra. And this suddenly was escalating to the point of no return.

As he let his eyes travel down, Chase forced himself to speak. “Gert, um, I should... probably go get- We need…“

“Huh?”

He locked his eyes back to hers. “Now, don’t think I rushed out to get them or anything, like a perv, but during the supply run, I, um, got condoms..."

“You did?”

Chase knew that it had been a good thing he'd gotten them, but he still felt like he needed to explain. “I promise I didn’t assume anything was going to happen tonight. I just wanted to be safe. After this morning, I couldn't-“ He paused, still slightly embarrassed. “I woke up with, uh, a slight… _problem_.” He watched as Gert’s eyes widened, processing this information. “And I just- The last time was so spur-of-the-moment, and well, with this whole sleeping arrangement… I just wanted to be ready, in case.”

“I’m not mad.” Gert’s eyes wandered to the left of Chase behind him as she wrapped her arms around herself, probably feeling a little awkward about being half-naked right now. “I, um, have a confession of my own to make too.” She nodded in the direction she was looking. “Open that top drawer.”

Chase frowned, confused. “Gert?” He did what she asked of him anyway and was surprised at what he found inside. Stashed in the back corner of the drawer was a box of condoms. “You…”

“Please don’t think I’m weird.”

“I don’t.” He sucked in a big breath. “I just know this means we could have been doing this a lot sooner. Why weren't we?”

“I don’t know. Because we’re idiots?”

That was totally it.

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

“Okay, you’re gonna have to stop it now. Stop it, I’m gonna cry from laughing too much,” Gert giggled as Chase kept burying his face into her neck. “I am _not_ going to let you mark me all up with hickeys. I’m not ready to hear the others say their "I told you so's' yet.”

Not that it would have changed how happy she was feeling right now. Because she _was_ happy. Truly.

“Huh?”

“Seriously, Chase?” Gert shook her head, disbelieving. “Nico has been wanting to get us together since the day after Homecoming, if you hadn't noticed. Karolina too. And while I still haven't told Molly about what happened that night, if you think she hasn't noticed already how we act too... Even Alex has some idea something happened between us, I think.”

“That’s kinda saying something.”

“Exactly.”

Chase slowly slid his hand down her arm before locking it with hers. “I gotta admit I wasn't always subtle when I was talking about you to the other girls. Not that I was trying to be. In fact, they were totally trying to help me win you over today. I know it.”

Gert let this information process a little as Chase pressed his lips against hers momentarily. She then pulled him back down for more and relished in the fact that he responded enthusiastically. In fact, it didn’t seem like he wanted to stop at all.

 “You’re a really good kisser,” he mumbled, after coming up for air.

“Is this how it’s going to be from now?” Gert asked, barely containing the giggles coming from her mouth. She swore the kinds of things he could do with that tongue of his were dangerous.

“I sure hope so.” Chase pecked her once more on the neck, which made Gert give him a playful swat before laughing again. Eventually, the pair settled into their usual cuddling position, but this time Gert allowed herself to fully appreciate the situation. Because she could. Because they were together now.

“I’m so glad this finally happened,” Chase whispered, planting a kiss on the top of her head before resting his chin against it. 

“Me too.”

“Gert, can I ask you something?”

“Mm?”

“About that night…” It was obvious which one Chase meant.

“What about it?”

“I’m curious… When you led me into that room, did you really have that all planned out in your head?”

Gert felt shy again all of a sudden. It didn't matter now, yet she still felt slightly awkward about admitting it. “I fantasized about it. Wasn't sure if I had the guts to follow through, but I didn't want go without at least having time alone with you that night before everything. I didn't wanna possibly die without- And then when you said what you said and you leaned in, I just..."

"Before the dance... I was thinking about you."

"You were?" Gert adjusted herself so that she was looking at him again. The statement had caught her off-guard.

"Yeah." Chase smiled at her. "About how you're totally different from anyone else I've ever known."

"Really?"

"Well, aren't you?"

Gert smirked. "That's true. No one is quite on my level of awesomeness."

"A brand all your own," he remarked with a chuckle. "By the way, I was totally going to ask you to dance."

"You..."

"But you beat me to the punch."

"Oops." And with that, the laughter returned. 

Chase shook his head as he squeezed her hand. "Doesn't matter though. It worked out."

"Eventually," Gert agreed just before rolling over so that her back was to him. Chase groaned before realizing that she wanted him to be the big spoon to her little one. He scooched over closer, wrapping his big arm around her securely. 

"That good?"

"Mmhmm."

Gert sensed Chase's lips hovering an inch or so from her neck and couldn't help the little shiver when she felt his breath hit it. "Wait. Is someone ticklish?"

"No."

She knew she should have known better than to lie because of course Chase chose that very moment to test her patience. He gently used his index finger to lightly touch the same spot and gave the tiniest stroke, and again, Gert flinched.  "You are! I knew it."

"Chase, stop it!" She laughed uncontrollably. "Okay, I've decided that I actually hate you now."

"Oh really? I can sure tell that." Turning his way slightly, she saw the current smug look on Chase's face.

"Okay, you know what? You're getting my full wrath now." Gert rolled back around and started to climb on top of him to try tickling him back, which he stopped her from doing by pulling her down for a kiss. Which, thanks to her sudden non-existent willpower, only deepened. "I still hate you for that, you know."

"Mm. Sure you do."

"I..." Kiss. "Mean..." Another kiss. "It."

"You were saying?"

"Mm? Nothing," Gert answered. Before slowly rolling off of him with an elated grin that felt permanently plastered to her face. 

She knew that she and Chase were bound to fight sometimes. It wasn't going to be easy. They were complete opposites. And yes, Chase had told her with total certainty that he wouldn't get sick of her. That Gert knew wasn't completely true. She also knew that she would have her own moments of feeling that way towards him. But at the end of the day, she was crazy about him. And it definitely seemed as though he was crazy about her.

_We're supposed to be together._

That she felt sure about. Everything about this felt too right for that not to be true. 

Other things were more uncertain, like the future. Being on the run from home still scared Gert to her core. Regardless of now having medication to treat her anxiety, it didn't change the fact that their lives would most likely never be normal ever again. 

And yet, as Gert stared over at Chase, this boy that she loved, she reminded herself of that first night when she came to his room. She thought of their discussion about how places weren't homes. How she had declared the group a family. Something that she truly had meant. They _were_ becoming a family. 

And, okay, it was cheesy to think about, but Gert found herself pondering about how, while yes the Hostel was technically their home now, maybe they were each other's homes. She felt safe as long as she had the others. Especially Chase. It was amazing the impact his arms simply being around her could have on her.

Nothing could fix her anxiety problems completely, but maybe just maybe, she was going to be okay. No matter what they faced. As long as they had each other.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so that's it! Hopefully it didn't totally suck and you enjoyed it. lol I really did love writing this fic and I love that I got myself to do it even tho I wasn't sure. So glad I joined this fandom. Idk when the next time I'll write something (hopefully S2 is inspiring/maybe I'll finally read the comics lol) but I plan to stick around with if you want me to. ;)

**Author's Note:**

> -


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